So now that I have published a book, I feel like I am trying to merge two identities, and things might get a little confusing. So I want to have this post explain a little bit about what is going on for any new travelers to the squeaky world of Jess and Paula.

My name is Jessica Smith. I publish under a pen name of Paula Jean Ferri. The two names are interchangeable in my mind though. While I was born as Jessica, around the age of 17, I developed a new lifelong friend, who I affectionately call Paula. Her name is a little more searchable than mine is. Besides, I probably wouldn't have had anything to write about without her, so she became the author.

Feel free to wander the blog and discover a little more about Paula's antics. I am also on Medium writing as often as I can between my three outlets (books, blog and Medium). I would LOVE to hear more about you and any questions you may have. Please send an email to Paulajeanferri@gmail.com.

Last, but CERTAINLY not least... I can't thank you enough for visiting!! I LOVE that you are here and hope to see more of you! Be sure to keep up to date on my website:

paulajeanferri.com

Endings and Begnnings

I'm a bit late on my Friday post again. last week had a lot going on. Friday was my last day at the Outpost. And since they have everything on sale it was busy. After work I jumped right into a craft fair, which was also busy. It didn't result in as many sales as I would have liked, but we did finally pass the 200 mark for copies of Madamn sold!

I have one more in person event before the end of the year in my hometown. While I don't think I will sell 800 copies, I am grateful I decided to increase my goal from the simple 100 books by the end of the year. It's been a thrill to watch all of the sale numbers and to be learning and growing so much since the launch. 

With any luck, I would love to sell another 50 copies before the end of the year. That would allow me to at least make it to 25% of the original goal, which feels both doable and a great milestone. I just love nice, round numbers like that, they are so satisfying!

Also exciting, Madamn continues to get great reviews. I had someone stop me in the street last week to say how much they were enjoying my book, and at the craft fair, I had no less than 3 people stop and say they haven't finished it yet, but they are just so impressed with how well it is written. I can't tell you how much that means to small indie authors.

If you have a book you enjoy, please reach out to the author and let them know. Writing can be a lonely business and you can really get into your own head with questions and self doubt. We live for little comments like these. Even more so when they are shared with others. 

Anywho, since I'm no longer at the Outpost and unable to holiday travel today (gotta love Wyoming weather), I plan to finally get started writing a few scenes for my next novel, so I'm going to switch gears. But I will try to get in a couple more posts before the end of the year so you know where we end!

Where We Stand on Goals

What a week! I've been sick this week and am about 85-90% better at this point. It was really stressful trying to be present at work since my job ends on Christmas Eve, while also trying to maximize on craft fairs and library signings. 

I even got to spend last night talking to a book club that read my book, which was super fun! It's always cool to see the insights that others have in my work, to be able to share more about Tourette syndrome, and to share what was real vs fiction in the novel. However, by the end of the day I was DONE. I'm surprised I felt so much better this morning instead of relapsing back into being sick. 

As of last night, book sales are up to 184, but I have a craft fair this morning and someone else is finishing up my book in KU, so I have high hopes of at least hitting 200 this weekend! And with another craft fair this weekend, and one in my hometown, 250 is my new goal before Christmas. Then, with any luck, any bookish gift cards given for the holiday, there might be a few more books sold?

At this point, I either get a Christmas miracle that gets me to that 1,000 in the next 3 weeks, or I shoot for a much more reasonable 300.

I've always been one to believe in big, impossible things. And it is still better than my initial thoughts when I first launched the book. When I learned there were 100 days from launch day to the end of the year, I had first thought that selling 100 books would be a fun goal- one book per day! Then I realized that was a small goal and I could do better, which is why I decided to 10x it, as one often hears in the business world. 

Point is, I'm still MUCH farther ahead than that initial thought process and I am grateful that I am doing so well with Madamn sales.

Because that 184 is JUST Madamn, none of my 4 other books. All 4 of my nonfiction have actually been selling as well. I just received a package yesterday restocking me for the next few shows as well. 

All in all, things are setting up for an awesome 2026! I can't wait to see where the new year takes me!

Where My Mind Is...

Is it just me or is there something about the holiday season that just makes the days much together and all fly by far too quickly?

I can't believe I missed another week! After doing so well... 

But to be fair, there has been a LOT going on in my personal life in addition to running my business and my job and the holidays. However, I've been reading Anti-Time Management by Richie Norton (strongly recommend!) and I will hopefully be able to get my life under control soon. What better time to make changes than the new year?

Fun fact, New Year's has been my favorite holiday for many years. My husband doesn't understand my odd rituals for the holiday. He was always one to go out and party to welcome in the new year. I, however, spend a few hours journaling before going to bed early so I can start the new year WITHOUT feeling hungover and get a head start on the things that are important to me.

I love looking at how far I have come over the past year and looking at where I want to go in the coming one. 

I have started mulling over these ideas a little, but nothing in depth just yet. There are actually a lot of things up in the air right now, which makes it hard to know what is going to happen. I'm still making plans of where I want to end up, but the route is still unknown.

With the flurry of holiday activities coming up, I hope you take some time for yourself to pause and express gratitude for 2025. For the highlights, for the hard lessons, and for the people most important in your life.

Madamn's Progress

Hey friends! Another day late, but yesterday being Black Friday, work was incredibly busy. Which is wonderful, because it is a small local business who hasn't historically been that busy on Black Friday. They almost told me not to worry about coming in, but I'm glad they did!

But it did mean I was unable to write a post yesterday, but I am still here! Book sales have slowed considerably since I haven't done any craft fairs in a couple of weeks, and online sales have come to a standstill. Right now, the only movement I have comes from the pages read in Kindle Unlimited, where Madamn is available. 

However, I did record another podcast this week, so I have 2 pending launch soon, which will hopefully help. A couple more craft fairs on the horizon will help as well.

On the learning curve side, I have been trying to call bookstores in a few other towns and not having any luck at all. I can get a hold of them, that isn't the issue, but the red tape to get signings in bookstores that I am not local to is a bit of a challenge! At least in one city I've tried. This week, we are switching towns to see if I have better luck elsewhere. 

I'm also reaching out to more podcasts and more influencers about possible collaborations, so hopefully we can get some more exposure soon. If you know of any podcasts or influencers, please let me know or send them my way!

Em's story is important and it needs to be shared. It's not just me saying this either, check out this amazing review I received this week:

This seriously made my week. With reviews like this, I'm sure this book will do well!

Today I Celebrate My Brother

Hey friends. I won't write much today. There is a heaviness on my soul today. So I'm taking it fairly easy  and making no promises for anything today. 

Today my brother would have been 34 years old. 

It's still so weird that he is gone. Even if it has been almost 6 years. Grief is a funny thing. There have been birthdays in the past that have been just fine. There have been regular days where it hits me like a cannonball to the stomach. 

You just never know when things are going to hit you or not. But I have noticed certain days, like birthdays, have an increased chance of the cannonball days.

Today is one of those.

The grief gets so heavy, I just want to go back to bed and sleep and pretend it's not happening.

But because that also seems counterproductive, I woke up early to do a workout, because he was a gym  rat. I'm doing things that he would be proud of, like trying to grow my business. He was always my biggest fan and thought it was so cool that I had published.

When my first book came out in 2016, he told his friends that I had published a book and they needed to buy it and read it to him because he couldn't read.

I miss him today. In honor of him, I keep going, even when it's hard. 

I do want to clarify that it doesn't mean I ignore the hurt, pretend it isn't there. I still feel it. That's important. I find ways to express that wherever I can. Like this blog post. Like  my workout this morning. Like wearing earrings of Captain America's shield; he loved Captain America. Like wearing a dragonfly necklace that was given to me after his passing with a sweet poem.

I'm sure there will be more. Again, I make no promises of what I will or will not do today. I keep moving, but I'm not pushing through the pain. I go at my own pace to feel and grieve. 

We will see how today turns out. It's always an adventure.

I'm Only Human, After All

Happy Friday Friends!

It's crazy to think that another week has gone by already! There has been a lot of things going on this week and it feels like it has just slipped away from me.

However, last night I got incredibly overwhelmed and had a bit of a breakdown. Not a terrible one, just feeling like I needed to step away from all the things and take some deep breaths. 

There are still days when I feel almost super-human and forget that I can only do one thing at a time. 

I had not only double booked myself, but had packed things around the double booking, so when I finally came home and saw a dirty kitchen that needed my attention, it got to be a bit much. Not only that, but I knew the next couple of days where I will be working a craft fair were also going to be long and busy. 

At first, I got a bit manic, trying to just get stuff out of the way trying to clean, even if some dishes weren't dry. Then my sweet husband tried to point out that I was putting wet dishes where they didn't belong, trying to slow me down off my manic moment, I had to run to another room for a moment. 

I've always had an issue dealing with overwhelm, and know I need to take things in bite size chunks, but when each item on your to do list has a voice and all 30 things are yelling at the same time to be taken care of, right now, I have to turn them off somehow so that I can look at it logically and be able to actually do the things instead of walking around in circles.

My life has become a bit much, and I have to take a moment to sit and decide what is the most important thing I want done.

Like today, I chose 3 things this morning that if nothing else gets done, I'd be ok with it. First was loading up my car, then going to work, and working the craft fair. 

Easy peasy.

But also, what 3 things can I potentially get done during work to take some more things off that list?

First, blog post. I've been doing so well at being consistent and I want to keep that going. 

Second, read over the information I received yesterday from a meeting.

Third, do some research into a grant I want to apply for, which will also help me close several tabs on my computer that have been open for too long. 

Sometimes I forget how essential planning is for me. Otherwise, I get a little too excited about all the things. Which really is a good thing and I'm grateful I have this trait.

Life really is short and I'm grateful to have so many things that get me excited about life and having so many things I want to do. I want more out of life and I'm grateful I have the desire to chase after this life as I want to live it. 

Sometimes I wish I could manically complete tasks, I do love the sense of accomplishment, but the point of completing these things is to be able to relax and enjoy things as well. 

It's a delicate balance and a lesson I keep learning over and over. 

Maybe one day I'll figure it. Maybe not.

I'm only human, after all.