Why hello!!

Saturday, August 17, 2019

So now that I have published a book, I feel like I am trying to merge two identities, and things might get a little confusing. So I want to have this post explain a little bit about what is going on for any new travelers to the squeaky world of Jess and Paula.

My name is Jessica Smith. I publish under a pen name of Paula Jean Ferri. The two names are interchangeable in my mind though. While I was born as Jessica, around the age of 17, I developed a new lifelong friend, who I affectionately call Paula. Her name is a little more searchable than mine is. Besides, I probably wouldn't have had anything to write about without her, so she became the author.

Feel free to wander the blog and discover a little more about Paula's antics. I am also on Medium writing as often as I can between my three outlets (books, blog and Medium). I would LOVE to hear more about you and any questions you may have. Please send an email to Paula@paulajeanferri.com.

Last, but CERTAINLY not least... I can't thank you enough for visiting!! I LOVE that you are here and hope to see more of you! Be sure to keep up to date on my website:



Monday, January 21, 2019

Oh hey. It's been a minute. I have had a rough few months, so I haven't been able to write. That doesn't mean Paula sits idly by, though. Never you fear. As if I didn't have enough on my plate, she decides to suddenly take over and the sass levels were out of control. She has been doing so much talking back that she has even taken to interrupting ME! Not my favorite.

It doesn't matter who is speaking. She has sassed in the past month, not only me but my mother, my roommate, my coworkers, my boss, and several other friends in daily conversations.

The crazy thing is that it's actually pretty realistic to imagine her as a teenager. I first started ticcing 15 years ago. She actually is a teenager. Although a pretty unique one. I never would have gotten away with half the stuff she gets away with. All that sass and everyone just laughs at her. I would have been grounded for a month!

Some tics have all the luck...

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Well, so it's been a couple of months. They have been quite difficult for me, and it rarely had anything to do with Paula, so I just kind of disappeared. With all of the personal issues going on and that continues to happen, I wanted to take a second to, first of all, thank you for your patience and sticking with me. Secondly, I wanted to take a minute to stop and look back at how far I have come.

When I first started this blog, life was so drastically different. I was living in Hawaii, had just received an official diagnosis for my TS, though I had been living with it significantly longer than that. I had spent the semester studying Tourette Syndrome and how it affects communication, and I realized what a benefit it has been in my life and how much more I could do with it.

I don't think I would be facing everything in my life quite as well if I hadn't first figured out how to utilize awkward things. Awkward moments can be hard to deal with, but I feel like I've cracked the code. The same principles have crossed over into dealing with tragedy and fear. I am a better person and more capable of handling whatever comes my way thanks to my Tourette Syndrome. Even better, I can help others to do the same. I have been given a huge gift, not only personally, but professionally as well.

I have come a long way from that very first squeak in the public library my senior year of high school. I have come even farther since my diagnosis and study of Tourette's. I have come so far since publishing my first book. Even more in the last year that I have really given it more focus and attention. The things I have faced in the past two months may be difficult, but by the end of the year, I will have gone even farther and face an amazing 2019.

Many of you know how much I absolutely adore the New Year holiday. Yes, I have already started my celebration of it, even though we haven't really gotten through Christmas yet. All of the progress that I continue to make has been increasing in intensity and momentum. Which means 2019 is going to be out of control with its level of amazingness.

Because of my excitement, as well as because of the season, I want to share something with you. Part of the reason my year has been so amazing, despite everything that has happened, is because I have been studying with a mentor named Benjamin Hardy. He has created an online course called AMP. It stands for Accelerated Momentum Program.

Last year, I invested $1,000 to get in this course and it has been worth the money. The cost is the same this year, but here's the thing, I want to help other people succeed, too. This is a season for giving, reflection, excitement and new things. SO, I want to offer this course to you for half the price. If you are interested in joining me on my journey, rather than simply following along, if you are interested in changing the life you have, simply upgrading your abilities or just want to try something new, comment below, send me a message on Facebook, or send me an email at paula@paulajeanferri.com and I will get you the information. This is only valid while Ben is still taking applicants. It will likely end around the start of the new year.

Guys, I can't even tell you how much of a steal this is to get in for just $500. Totally promise it's worth it. In fact, I'm working on a project to toss in a few things of my own for you as well, so be sure to let me know if you are interested and I'll toss in a few extras to REALLY make it worth your while.

You are amazing. Sounds like a change of topic, but just know it's legit.

Touch Base

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Wow, so I'm not sure how over an entire month has gotten away from me. It might be due to the fact that Paula has been fairly mild mannered for a bit. Tics do come and go and I guess she is just biding her time until she can make some really good stories or something. Which is a strong possibility. It has been the pattern before. After all, I've had Paula for about 15 years now, and while she normally doesn't have very many patterns, the only constant is that she always comes back.

However, I've noticed over the years as I have watched Paula evolve that her mood tends to change and bears a creepy resemblance to a human of about the same age. I've watched her "grow" and evolve over the years. The pre-teen, early teen age was particularly rough and where most of this blog has taken place. Now that she is 15, she is starting to mature I guess?

Anyways, I just wanted to touch base and say that Paula and I are both alive and well. I've just been working on so many exciting projects. I should really cut back and focus on one at a time, but I just get so excited! Book 3 is coming together, I am working on an online course and getting an entire new idea to somehow incorporate and tie into the foundation I have already built. That's on top of the regular day job, too. Wish me luck, but be excited for new things!

Examples in Friendship

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Sometimes I am touched by what a good example that Paula is to me. She really is quite thoughtful and considerate. She reminds me often of why I love people so much, and I am inspired by how much she loves people. This trip to Banff was needed for me on many levels, but most of all, I appreciated coming away with deeper relationships with the others in the group.

Now we already know that Paula liked flirting with all the boys, but what was especially great was being one of just two girls that went on the trip, and Paula just loves Rachael. It was kind of adorable to watch. Especially because I just love Rachael, too. When I first met her, we bonded very quickly.

Rachael and I at a Garden Party

On occasion when we were sitting next to each other in the car, she would rest her head on my shoulder. At which point, Paula would then express her feelings with a tender, "Awwww!" Which ironically would then make Rachael's head snap up with such an immense look of pure joy. Friendship is a beautiful thing and it is good to love and be loved by these special friends in my life.

Even beyond those sweet and tender moments, Paula and Rachael just had so much fun together. They were quite often playing a game of Marco Polo, calling out to each other much of the trip. Rachael almost seemed to have a bit more control over Paula than I did, as each time she heard, "Marco!" Paula would respond, not with the word exactly, but the tone of one who would echo, "Polo!"

Paula likes playing games, especially with those she loves. What good friend doesn't do that?

Tourette Syndrome and Eating Habits

Saturday, August 18, 2018

There are some who claim that Tourette Syndrome can be cured with correct diet and exercise. When put on a strict diet, they claim that it has completely disappeared.

While that must have been important to them to stick to such a strong diet, that is obviously not the route I want to take for many reasons. First being that I like having Paula around and second that I just love food. All kinds. Often not the healthiest for me. It just tastes so good! I like the healthy stuff, too, believe it or not. When I say all kinds, I mean it.

So it's nice to know that Paula shares my standard with food. Probably because of the possibility that it affects her very existence. Probably just because food is awesome.

While in Canada, we ate out at one particular place that I can't recall. Which is a shame, because it was delicious. Looking at the menu and discussing different options, someone mentioned a plant-based burger. Paula immediately sounded impressed, letting out an, "Oooooo!"

However, shortly thereafter, someone mentioned that they might want the steak. This time, she sounded like a trumpet, blasting out, "Wah wah waaaaaah!"

I think she might be a carnivore. She sounded much more impressed by the steak.

Photo by Alex Munsell on Unsplash

Talents and Lack Thereof

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Considering that Paula isn't technically their own person, she is pretty talented. She can do a lot of things. But just like other human beings, she can't do everything. There are some things she just should not be doing. Bless her heart, she tries anyway.

I am a huge fan of Broadway musicals, and Paula and I both love to try to sing along. While Paula is a fairly talented singer, there are some days she struggles. And just like any other singer, there are just some genres she is better at. I often refer to Paula as my little opera diva. She has great support and vibrato when she belts out those high notes. She can be quite melodic when belting out a tune.

One thing she cannot do though is rap. When the soundtrack to Hamilton comes on, I can sing along and do fairly well. While in Canada, Paula decided to give it a go. I would never laugh at an actual person like this, but this is my TS rather than a human, so in a way, it is like laughing at myself. And did it ever give us cause to laugh!

In her attempts to sing along with Hamilton, she was mumbling the same way she would when she "talks" to a person. She then quickly fell behind. She couldn't quite keep up with the speed of the song. Realizing her inability to keep up, she gradually got quieter and faded out. She has some pride, you know. However, it gave several of us a good laugh.
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