So now that I have published a book, I feel like I am trying to merge two identities, and things might get a little confusing. So I want to have this post explain a little bit about what is going on for any new travelers to the squeaky world of Jess and Paula.

My name is Jessica Smith. I publish under a pen name of Paula Jean Ferri. The two names are interchangeable in my mind though. While I was born as Jessica, around the age of 17, I developed a new lifelong friend, who I affectionately call Paula. Her name is a little more searchable than mine is. Besides, I probably wouldn't have had anything to write about without her, so she became the author.

Feel free to wander the blog and discover a little more about Paula's antics. I am also on Medium writing as often as I can between my three outlets (books, blog and Medium). I would LOVE to hear more about you and any questions you may have. Please send an email to Paulajeanferri@gmail.com.

Last, but CERTAINLY not least... I can't thank you enough for visiting!! I LOVE that you are here and hope to see more of you! Be sure to keep up to date on my website:

paulajeanferri.com

Resting, Recharging, and Refocusing

Well, would you look at that! I managed to get a post in on time! I love that I am able to spend a month at a time with my family, especially when help is needed. That is easily my favorite part of being an author and building a life where this is possible. I'm so grateful. 

While it does throw off my routine a little bit, it has been a much needed rest that has brought a lot of clarity to the direction I want to go next. Which means I have to put a few projects on hold and pick up some projects that have been on the back burner. 

I do want to make the distinction that it is just on hold, not off the table completely. 

However, the thing I have realized the most while on this trip is that certain projects have time constraints that others don't. As well as remember that there are things that are important, but also some are more urgent. 

For example, I have long felt that I wanted to write a book about my great-grandfather (where I get the surname Ferri from in my pen name, Paula Jean Ferri), as well as my grandmother. However, she is 88 years old. If I am going to gather information from her, I need to do that now.

The same idea with one of my clients. He was a Vietnam vet who recorded his story. I was able to meet him and pick up a physical manuscript shortly before he passed away. I am now working with his wife, but this is also a time-sensitive project. 

Eulalie's story will always be there. It is started and very high up on my list. However, timing is key with the first two. 

I have also made a pivot on the business I am working on. The publishing house, again, is still a work in progress, but given that publishing houses are much more common these days, I had an idea. There is a gap needing to be filled. This will be the first focus, because timing. 

Anywho, I have a family member who is very anxious to play marbles, so I am going to enjoy my family. Hope you have a marvelous week!

Books, Books, Books!

Apparently this year is for every other week updates instead of weekly. I have been considering moving over to Substack instead of just a regular blog, but I would be posting more in depth articles, sometimes straight from my personal journal.

I'm not certain, but it is an idea I am toying with. After all, I am a writer and working on building a career out of this. 

Speaking of my career... the publishing house is currently on hold. I will still take care of my current clients, but I have an idea that has completely taken over my mind and heart at this point. I'm still researching if this is an idea worth pursuing before jumping in headfirst (as I am prone to do!). So this will remain under wraps for now.

But it is, of course, book related. As all of my hobbies tend to become.

It's hard not to. Since books contain literally anything and everything you could ever want, and some things you don't.

Want to learn a new hobby? Buy a book.

New places/people/language/culture? Buy a book.

Want a pleasant distraction? Buy a book.

Any time period, anywhere in the world, anything under the sun... all can be found in some way, shape, or form within a book.

So, of course, with my love of books that is going to spill into everything else that I do.

Also, as a side note, I have managed to read an absurd amount of books while I've been traveling on vacation. I'm so grateful for the chance to slow down and fill my cup in addition to all of the learning along side my research. It's fantastic.

As Time Goes By

Time is a funny thing. I find it interesting how my life is suddenly in a place where I'm attending reunions for things I have done DECADES ago. Even talking with a friend of mine yesterday, I mentioned that my husband and I have been married for four years and she responded with, "No way, you two were just married." 

To which I emphatically agreed.

So to think it has been decades since I have done certain things in my life that feel like it was just a few years ago simply blows my mind. 

This weekend, I returned to one of my old college campuses (I transferred and attended 2 different schools). So much feels the same and so much feels so different.

There is a new library on campus. (I am DROOLING over this place!) As I walked the stacks, I couldn't help but be amazed at some of the amazing books that were here. Unfortunately, I didn't spend much time in the library. Now that I have a few decades on my younger self, I can't help but think I wasted my time.

Which is not true at all. College provided me with so much growth and expansion getting to know new people, discover new things about myself, learn how to make friends and socialize, and be more physically active than I had ever been before.

Fun fact, I lost the "freshman 15" my first semester, then lost another set my second semester.

This place was so good to me. I needed it and I loved it. But I can't help but wish I had done more. 

The cool part is that in 20 years... there is a chance that I'll be saying the same thing about my time now. Things I wish I had done before I had children and raised a family. Things that I wish I had done while I had more energy. Things that I simply want to do now.

I have no regrets about my past. Not at all. Even if it may sound like I do. It was exactly what I needed at the time. But the things that I wish I had done are actually things I want to do NOW. And that is something that I do have control over. 

It may not always be at THIS library. I would love that, my soul just wants to be there. But the concept is the same. Whether it is my local library, my personal library, or even a local bookstore. I want to be surrounded by books, either reading or writing in my journal, or even in front of my laptop. 

This is a time of focus I may not ever have again, especially when my husband and I start having children.

And I intend to enjoy every precious moment.

Whoops

It's been a few weeks since I've been on here. The holiday has completely thrown me off on one end, and I have been buried in work on the other. It doesn't seem like it has been a very exciting few weeks when I look back, but then I realize that there has been a lot of laughter with family and friends, and while it feels small, there has been progress on my business plan and various projects.

One of the highlights was spending time with some friends from another state that comes to visit during the 4th of July. This year, their daughter is three years old. She LOVED Paula.

Every time I would tic, she would whip her head around at me with the biggest smile on her face and laugh. She even asked me to do it again. When I told her I can't do it again... she tried to coach me on how to do it. "Say AR."

Children and animals are always my favorite when it comes to having Tourette syndrome and I just love how joyful it makes them. 

Keep Going.

What a week! It ahs been a bit of a rollercoaster and I'm grateful to still be standing. There have been good days and bad days with my health, which leads to me overdoing it trying to get things done and catch up, but then crashing the next day or two.

Luckily, there has been progress made in most areas, so it was possibly worth it? At least my house is a bit cleaner, that was absolutely necessary. 

It's hard feeling like you have all day to be productive with no job in the way, but at the same time, feel like there isn't enough time to get it all done. So I just have to take things one day at a time. Which, really is all any of us can do. And again, all things considered, I am making huge amounts of progress. 

But the results aren't tangible yet. 

That makes it hard. I think the only tangible progress this week was selling a book and getting it in the mail. 

Luckily, I have a bit of practice with nontangible results. I have been on and off a weight loss journey enough times to know not all victories are visible on the scale or even visible in the mirror. That doesn't mean there isn't progress. It can be waking up before your alarm feeling well-rested, standing up without groaning, etc. 

The same principle applies to anything else we want to do in life. Progress starts small and slow, but consistency is the key. Keep going and the results will come.

Publishing House Progress

I have had the most amazing morning so far today. I am finally making some SERIOUS progress in how to move forward with my publishing house. 

I had a meeting yesterday with someone who is helping me to build and create this business. And while I have been meeting with her since January, this is the first time that I got overwhelmed and asked myself, "What have I gotten myself into? Do I really want to do this?"

Luckily for me, the second question is irrelevant. Whether I want to or not, this is something that I feel deep in my bones that I need to do. If you are spiritual at all, to me it feels like a calling from a higher power. So want to or not, this is going to happen.

Which, again, luckily for me, knowing this and believing in a higher power, the first question is also irrelevant.

My scripture study this morning had me reading the story of David and Goliath. This publishing house is my Goliath. It is huge and terrifying, possibly mean, and feels impossible. Spoiler alert, David wins. I have access to an unbelievable amount of power and this is going to happen. Not because I want it to, I'm not sure I do. Not because of my skills, I don't have enough. 

But it is going to happen. Lucky me, I get to be along for the ride and watch miracles happen first hand.

Which THEN led me to even more really great thoughts, which I might have to share at a later date. I kind of want to spread this out and since I spent SO much time on it this morning, I need to get going on some actual projects.

SO... To Be Continued!