The more I write about Paula and her personality, the more I realize how much like an individual she really is. I have become ever so much closer to her as I have come to understand her and her personality. Not only do I understand her more, but I start to understand myself a little bit better. When I was in elementary school, once a week we had a music class. The teacher always started class off with a positive affirmation. It was always the same one and was several lines long. The only line that I still remember is, "I'm my own best friend and my own worst enemy."
I may remember this phrase, and I have likely thought about it before, and understood it's meaning. I feel like Paula has helped me take this to a whole new level of understanding though. There are times when I may be absolutely infuriated with Paula. Sometimes it isn't easy not being in control of your own body and actions. Sometimes it can be funniest thing in the world. Paula can be my biggest trial and my biggest blessing all at the same time. She is talented like that I guess. Just like the younger sibling you grew up fighting with, but you know she always has your back.
Just like taking the time to notice the beautiful things around us, it is important to look at ourselves once in a while and remember who we are. What we want. What we are working for. As I write these blog posts about who and what Paula is, I am able to notice things we have in common, and things we may not have in common.

Paula has helped me to see myself a little bit more clearly. I love Paula and what she has done for me. Simply put, Paula just makes me happy. 

Paula is a Diva

Paula loves to sing. This is nothing new. She has sung along with various tunes over the years. Her first tune was "Carol of the Bells" back in my Hawaii days. Over the years, she has sung along to many songs of various genres. Lately, Paula has been rather impressive. I had no idea she had these kind of capabilities! She has been singing along to songs that I don't even know!! The girl that sits next to me at work will be singing along to her music (we have slightly different tastes...) and Paula will just jump in.

I don't know how she does it, especially considering we share the same brain. It baffles me that she has this talent. Don't get me wrong, I have had my share of moments on stage and performing. I adore music and I love to sing and dance. Paula however, has taken this talent beyond what I have ever been capable of. She just must be meant to be a diva!!

Paula is Adventurous

I've always been a more reserved person. In high school, I was even quite shy. Paula has helped me break out of that shell a lot. I have kind of had to, sharing company with the likes of her! Paula is always finding new ways to express herself. It's almost unnerving to watch her grow and expand and wondering if I am going to get lost. Paula is very much a part of who I am, but I am not my Tourette Syndrome. I think that may be part of why I like the distinction of giving her a name.

As I look back at how much Paula has changed from the first little hiccup while I was working in a library, to her increase in frequency, her changing noises and now expanding into different situations, I can't help but think of how adventurous she is. No one has shoved her into those new situations. I still on occasion have to be forced into something new.

On the other hand, Paula had another first this week. Paula decided to pop up while I was on the phone at work. She did it a few times actually. It was always on the phone with a co-worker transferring a call to me, but it is still quite entertaining. The best part is... after years of people wanting to someone record Paula, I have access to a recording! All the phone calls at work are recorded, so while I don't yet have my own copy (I need to talk to my leads about that...), Paula has been recorded!

Paula Likes to Make An Entrance!

Paula has always loved attention. She also tends to get a lot of it. She loves making heads turns. In fact, while I was serving as a missionary and was studying in the Missionary Training Center, it became a game among my classmates to see how far I could make heads turn. She has some great distance! During that time, I was in a devotional that was held in a room equivalent in size to a college basketball gym. I was a little late, so was in the back row, up at the top. Some of my classmates had gotten there early and were on the floor, about 10 rows back from the speaking podium, against the far wall. Paula was able to grab their attention!



Today, she continues to turn heads. I was headed back to my desk, but had a door to pass through before I got to the room. A few steps before the door, Paula started a new noise, that continued until a few steps past the door. Today, in order to make her grand entrance, she chose to sounds like a bomb that had been dropped from a plane. It was almost like a whistle, very high pitched, that slid down, and as the door shut behind me, it sounded like the crash. Her timing is impeccable. It was quite the entrance, I will give her that!

Napa Auto Parts

You may be wondering what an auto parts store has to do with Paula, or Tourette Syndrome. Well, Paula made an appearance here last week, for one. Secondly, it was a new experience for me. Usually when I run my errands, they happen Paula-free. Seems she doesn't like the whole "responsible adult" thing! I have never seen her pop up while I am at a bank, getting my oil changed or even grocery shopping!

So I was caught a little off guard when she popped up at Napa. Not only was I running errands, but I was leaving and saying good bye. Rather than saying good bye, Paula decided to get her two cents' worth in first. I watched the poor clerk as his jaw hung open and he blinked a few times, not sure what to do. How could I not laugh? I then in my usual fashion, translated, "Paula wanted to say good bye and thank you as well!" Problem is, this guy didn't know who Paula was either, so there was no change in his expression. It took me a second to realize I had to explain what was actually going on before I could let myself walk out the door. Usually I like to leave people guessing until they actually ask me a question about what is going on. Problem was, this poor guy wouldn't have a chance to ask as I was walking out the door. Especially not in his state of shock! So as I walked out the door, I hollered, "It's ok, it's just Tourette Syndrome." Luckily the confusion in his face went away as a relieved look took it's place. At least he knew what it was to understand so quickly so I could move on with my errands, but it was still entertaining!