I have started another new tic. It's not even a new vocal tic, it is a physical one. The best part is, it's not even one that hurts! It was actually kind of subtle at first, I don't really know when it started, but I am noticing it happening more and more. Especially around large groups of people. It is also certainly a happy tic. In fact, it's the most flirty tic I have. I think Paula might be better at this dating thing than I am!

She has started winking! Oh I wink once in a while, but not as often as I find myself doing it now. I mostly started to notice this was a new tic when I did all alone one day. I may or may not have been thinking about a conversation I had the day before with a cute guy, but that certainly does not merit winking all alone now does it? I'm pretty sure this is a tic. I'm not too upset about this one though! I certainly plan to take advantage of it!

Paula Takes Care of Me

Sometimes I wonder if she doesn't see things better than I do. It's not hard, I've had glasses since I was in 5th grade. Except I don't mean that kind of seeing. She recognizes patterns in my life and helps me to see what is going on. Sometimes a little better than I can. It's kind of nice having a gauge of what is going on internally when I am not paying attention.

I am a big advocate of mental health, especially given some of the things I have experienced in my life. I have been very blessed to have such wonderful people help me to regain my footing and get back into stable territory. Those experiences have been slightly traumatic though, and very easy to see when things are going wrong and that I need help. Who wouldn't have a hard time breaking off an engagement for example? Even if you haven't broken off an engagement, life still gets stressful. Stress greatly affects our mental health and it needs to be taken care of and watched just as much as our physical health.

Lucky me, I have a stress-o-meter. When I get stressed and need to take a step back, I usually would try to plow through and get things done anyways. Paula won't stand for it. She cares about me apparently and when I get stressed, tics increase, making it necessary for me to stop and take that step back I mentioned I never take. It will either be by the pain caused from physically ticcing so much, so she might physically not let me touch the mouse at work. (She did this the other day. The keyboard was ok, but no mouse!) I certainly appreciate her thoughtfulness and consideration of my mental health.

Paula Is a Schemer!

Paula can border on being a jerk sometimes! I think she secretly makes plans to creep people out. She doesn't even let me in on the secret when she does it either. I guess it makes me a bit of a jerk that I laugh when she does it though. I"m not necessarily always laughing at the other person. Maybe once in a while. Mostly I am laughing at what  brat Paula is. So cheeky that one!

This morning at work, Paula screamed. My co worker that sits behind me must have jumped, though I didn't see it. She did, however, turn around and say, "Oh my goodness, you scared me!" Before I could do anything, Paula jumped in and gave her two cents. "I know!" Oh, I just about died laughing. Not at my poor co worker, but of this bratty side of me. I promise, I don't plan it!

Paula's Interruptions

I have been terrible at posting lately, but it's only because things are moving along so well with my book! It should be out within a month you guys! I am so excited, and have been working furiously on my book description and tweaking the back cover and dimensions and all sorts of things I had no idea were involved in the book writing process! Especially since most of the book is with my phenomenal editor.

Don't let that fool you though, Paula is still up to her antics. She must be getting a bit impatient for the book release or something. Usually she is very polite and waits until I finish talking or doing something to show up. Lately, she has been jumping in whenever she darn well pleases. I understand this is more typical in the TS community and Paula is unique, but I miss my polite little Paula! Yesterday at work she wouldn't let me touch the mouse. My shoulder would jerk anytime I got close. I could use the keyboard, but no clicking for Jessica. Granted I had been a little stressed out, so she was a little more aggravated than usual. I wasn't able to get much work done until I took a break and calmed down a bit though. She can just be so cheeky when she wants attention!

Paula Can Be Quiet

Paula has been very active the past few months. There has been so much going on in my life, and she has loved the excitement and attention. There have been lots of blog posts to share that as well. This past week has been kind of quiet though. Not only has it been a quiet calendar, but Paula has be quiet as well. I find myself missing her. She makes my life much more entertaining. My life suddenly feels so empty without five or six new stories per day.

Oh sure, Paula sang "Final Countdown" at work today, but we already know she is a singer. And that was almost her only appearance. She wasn't around to make me smile with her antics. We already knew she loves people and gets pretty vocal when I am excited and happy... Which begs the question... do I have no stories because Paula isn't around, or is Paula around because I have no stories? Maybe I should be making a few more changes in my life... little more sociality or something!

Paula is Successful!!

I have been so incredibly grateful this entire week. First, for all the amazing people I have in my life. They are fun, they are inspiring, they are everything I want to have in my life. They keep me busy and this is a great thing! I am so lucky to have them in my life and I'm fairly certain Paula has played a large role in cementing many of these relationships. Either by breaking the ice to speak with them, by being able to share and open up, which led to deeper conversations or maybe they just like her more. She is entertaining, and I wouldn't be surprised. Whichever way it is, these people are in my life and I am a better person for it.

Secondly, I am finally living a dream. My elementary school yearbook predicted I would be an author. I took a little longer to realize it, but I love that I have written a book! I love how many people find it interesting and want a copy! I love the conversations it opens! I love that this book is doing more than I ever could and I get to tag along for the ride!

Thirdly, not only am I living a dream, but it is successful! It hasn't even become available yet and I already get to be featured on a website! It won't happen until the book is actually published, but I am making connections and working on getting on a few podcasts, too!! Paula Jean has really done a number on my life and I am oh so grateful to have her in my life!!

Paula Loves People

Sometimes Paula is a little bit more considerate than I am. Today in church, the teacher asked for a volunteer to write a list on the board as the class called out suggestions. Paula was quick to volunteer. Luckily for me and my terrible handwriting, so were a couple of other girls, so I was off the hook. Now I have to be careful where I take Paula if she is going to start volunteering for things. Don't get me wrong. I like to give and to serve. I should probably be careful going to auctions though. She might get me into a bit of trouble!

Sometimes it can be helpful though. I went with my ward to Bear Lake this weekend (and had a blast, thanks for asking! SO beautiful!). I went up a day later than others though, so I had to find the girls that I was staying with so I could put my stuff in the tent. While she didn't use their specific names, she seemed to be attempting to play Marco Polo. It still took a while to find them, but find them we did! I sure love my sweet and giving Paula!