Paula can be pretty creepy. We've already established the phantom aspect, but she is just so good at it. She pulled another phantom today. At work, I have been moved to the top floor. My friend Kimber works in the room just below mine. We both get into work pretty early, so it tends to be a little more quiet. I was upstairs working, and Paula decides to say good morning. Nothing too loud, she didn't have a lot of people to grab attention from. Pretty mellow, no big deal, right?

WRONG! I suddenly have a message pop up on my computer screen from Kimber. She told Paula good morning. I giggled thinking she didn't realize Paula had just popped up. To my surprise, her next message said that Kimber had indeed, heard Paula. It was like she was reading my mind!!

Kimber then went on to explain she turned to Kayla and asked if she heard it. Sadly, she did not. Kimber would have thought she was going crazy if she didn't know that my shift had started. There has to be a vent or something that allowed her to hear such a quiet noise while being on a different floor! That or Paula learned how to throw her voice really well. Maybe she should become a ventriloquist...

Who Will Volunteer?

My ward recently had a talent night. I go to church with A LOT of SERIOUSLY talented people. In between the entertainment, our emcee asked for four volunteers. Specifically those who were good at history. I like history, but I am by no means an expert. I used to be, but I have gotten rusty, I admit. I had no plans on volunteering. I was just happy to be there and thoroughly entertained. Between Paula and I, we had the cheering section covered.

I guess Paula didn't think it was enough to cheer. Remember how she likes being the center of attention? There were three volunteers, and the emcee was asking for just one more. So Paula yelled. Apparently everyone took that as a volunteering cry. The emcee called on Paula and several audience members tried to cheer for her. It took a while to convince them that Paula does NOT speak for Jessica. Good thing, too. Instead of a history quiz, it turned out to be a hula hoop competition. No talent there, thank you very much! At least not from Jessica. I would be very afraid to see what Paula comes up with should she really end up in a hula hoop competition!

Probably something like this.

Show Stopper

Paula really loves rehearsals. They give her a chance to really shine and show off her talent (insert eye roll here). After running act 2, we were gathering around to go over notes. Being the festive crowd we are, everyone was still chatting as we gathered.

Well, Paula likes being helpful, so maybe she was just trying to quiet everyone down. That or she is trying to take over as director. I can't tell. Never can with Paula... I assumed the former at the time.

She let out a loud screech and the room silenced. This is unusual as most of the cast tends to just ignore her; unless she is stealing lines again. I was not expecting the entire room to turn my way, so I was playing back with Paula, and made a motion like I was cutting off music. As I realized all eyes were suddenly on me, I sank to the floor as a few chuckles rolled out. Paula doesn't usually embarrass me, but this sure did! I'm sure I was red as a stop sign. Thanks a lot, Paula!

Paula's "Yellow Bird"

We know by now how much Paula likes attention. She loves going to rehearsal and stealing lines from the narrators of the show, as well as the lead. Sometimes, I think she just wants to be the whole cast  and crew herself! During Benjamin's Calypso, there is a line about a yellow bird. Normally her timing is on par. However, she was a little late on this one. We had even jumped to a different scene.

The rest of us had gone back to the beginning of the act in Egypt, but she jumped back to the islands, doing a bird call. She received orders to do this during the show (sorry Mary-Martha) during the line about the yellow bird from a few members of the cast. Guess we will see how well she obeys! Though her track record would suggest not normally.

She does her own thing at all times. In fact, her bird cry might pass for a yellow bird, but it sounds much more like a peacock.

Paula's Super Hearing

I am partially deaf in my right ear. I can hear upper and lower registers and everything in the middle, I can only hear at about 50% making it a lot quieter. Apparently she does not share my ears with me, as her hearing seems to be quite on par.

I didn't even realize what had really happened. I was just sitting at work, I must have ticced, because I suddenly heard laughter from the aisle over and my friend Brandon yelling, "That was perfect, Jess!" I don't know what noise I made, even! I asked what was so perfect. Apparently there had been a conversation going on and whatever noise she made fit in perfect with what they were saying.

It's kinda sad, but I felt a little left out! These are my noises, but now she and Brandon share an inside joke. We share a brain, shouldn't I be in on this too?!? They are both lucky I like them both so much!

Paula is Growing Up, Maybe I Am Too

My little Paula Jean spoke her first sentence! Of course, it was to Addy, one of her favorites at work. It was a very short sentence, but none the less, it was more than her now normal screech of "What." Not only that, but she stole one of my phrases.

Adelana went on a 15 min break. When she returned, Paula cried, "Welcome back!" It's like she missed her or something.

As I was telling my mom this story, she got a little concerned. She was worried about me developing split personalities by referring to my TS as Paula. She is becoming so individual and almost becoming her own person. I had to explain to her that this is not why I call it Paula. I refer to my TS as Paula to show that this is NOT ME doing this. I do not choose the noises I make or when I make them. I don't choose the actions that come from my TS. I did not choose to almost punch my computer at work, but it happened none the less.

Sure, I get along with Paula, but these are not cognitive choices I am making. It has been hard on my parents watching me "grow into" my TS. Most start young. Some grow out of it. I know my situation is unique. I still count myself as one of the lucky ones.

I once read a story about a man who had gone to a TS conference, and met a woman with an even more unusual tic than I had. She started to undo the buttons on this man's shirt! I watched a documentary of a girl, who would strangle herself. Tics are hard. They take a life of their own. Referring to my TS as Paula allows me to see trends. Almost like a personality. I call it Paula to show that these are not my choices.

I. Do. Not. Choose. This.

It happens the same way a normal person would cough or sneeze. It is uncontrollable. Unstoppable. Paula is a force to be reckoned with. I do not choose this, but I do have to deal with it and work with it. I do make a cognitive choice to enjoy it as often as I can.

I like Paula. I would not be who I am with out my TS. I can't picture life without her anymore. She has given me a new perspective and a fresh view of my life in relation to the world around me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Stealing Lines

Paula can be such a ham. She enjoys being the center of attention a little too much! For those new, I am currently rehearsing for a production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Paula has made herself known to the cast. She has made several new friends and loves to sing along with several of the songs during rehearsal.

This however, she may have taken it a bit too far! My friend Will was singing one of Joseph's solos (and doing quite well I might add!), but our director yelled for a pause to give some instruction to the cast at this point. Paula wasn't about to miss a chance to take center stage. So she decided to keep singing for Will. After singing his line and creating quite a ruckus of laughter from the cast, she finally decided to quiet down. At this point, Will yelled, "Hey, that's MY line!!" Provoking even more laughter from the cast.

I sure love these people!

I can't even express how much I have missed being a part of a musical, singing and dancing and all the new friends I make. I get so excited to go to rehearsals, Paula has to show my excitement for me. I couldn't do it justice. I am all the more grateful for her ability to express joy above what I am capable of.

Sometimes she can get carried away, but I feel a constant joy being around these people. It can be exhausting most days. That brings out the not so fun tics, like my shoulder tics. It is oh so worth it though. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I had a few people ask what happens when I get on stage for the performance. For the record, Paula gets stage fright. She may love rehearsals, but does not show up on stage. I am ok with that! It gives me the best of everything!