I've been feeling stuck lately.
Like I am both in a rut, but also moving in circles. It's not my favorite thing.
There was one day this week that I was on the phone for FOUR HOURS, and the only things I accomplished were that I should not complete the paperwork for my insurance, because they might have sent the wrong stuff, and that the bank was going to be a headache, so I chose the easiest option, even if it made things a bit slower.
Productive day.
But it wasn't just that day, especially in regards to my novel. It has been a MONTH.
Poor Madamn is just sitting and it's all my fault. (I have a strong guilt complex I'm working through).
It's hard to get back into it.
Like the conditions have to be *just so* before I can open it up again. Which I know isn't true, logically. That's kind of silly. But that doesn't stop the distractions and self-sabotage.
Because I stopped in a place knowing that the book isn't any good... right now. Somehow my brain is filtering out those last two words though.
I know it's not just me, I'm not the only one that deals with this kind of thing.
Which is why I have joined my very first writer's circle. It's being run by a friend of mine, Andrea Frazer. I need the accountability. I need someone else to count on me to get it done. Andrea loves this project, she has been supportive and on board since day one.
In fact, she is the one who came up with the clever title for my book. In the meantime, I keep making blog posts when I can and keep trying to heal my body and look after my health.
Somedays it may not feel like I am making any progress, but if I take a step back, it's there.
I'm losing less hair (turns out shedding is a side effect of thyroid stuff), I'm seeing the energy cycles in my day and can plan accordingly, I feel warmer (not just because it's summertime), and many other micro steps.
I still have days without any energy, and if I get off track, my entire day feels derailed.
But there is progress.
This blog post itself is proof of that.
The growing number of views and visits is proof of that.
There is always a silver lining and something good happening if we are willing to look for it.