Today I learned the difference between a family crest and a coat of arms. 

One would think this would be common sense for someone who loves history as much as I do, but don't judge me. There are so many details that it is easy to get lost in the different time periods and locations.

My husband and I were having a conversation about this last night. In all of my schooling, I think most history classes ended with WWII, maybe shortly after, providing a brief touch on the Vietnam war. But it was always rushed at the end of the semester. 

But oh, the history of so many foreign places and the many, many details that are easily glossed over... but I digress. 

In my research for Madamn, I was searching for her coat of arms. Surely a family such as hers would have one. 

Aaaand I found two. Or so I thought. Turns out, both websites had sources to verify their information, I was getting confused by not distinguishing the family crest from the coat of arms. 

So if you are like me and not sure the difference, a family crest is a much more simple design that is often found within the family coat of arms. 

Again, both websites were able to provide sources and verify these images as belonging to the Prondre family, so while the design doesn't seem to match perfectly, I can absolutely see it. 

Prondre Family Crest

Prondre Family Coat of Arms

Sometimes Paula Can Be Sweet... Other Times Not So Much

Wow, what a week! I'm amazed that I have so many Paula stories this week! 

While my TS is often active, it's not often that something "new" happens. Paula has gotten used to her same old tricks. 

After being such a snot to my coworkers, Paula decided to fix her reputation and do something kind of sweet. Yesterday as I was leaving for work, my husband told me he loved me. Before I had a chance to respond, Paula decided to pop up with her version of "I love you.' 

Which means, she had the right tone and timing as if I had said it, but didn't quite get the words. They were squeaks that sounded like I had said it. 

Turns out, she just has her favorites. 

She was super sweet to my husband, but by the time I got to work and throughout the day, Paula became quite mean to me.

My physical tics were all over the place and quite strong. 

I was getting quite sore from the repetitious moving and jerking. Looking back, it might have been due to the caffeine I had that I don't usually consume. For this very reason. However, I hadn't slept well the night before and was worried about being able to, you know, function. 

Luckily, turns out I was able to find something that helped by the afternoon. 

Once upon a time, I got really into essential oils, so I have a bunch, mostly collecting dust because I don't use them too often. However, I happened to have a small bottle with me since I had also already woken up sore and was willing to take a bottle just to see if I could get my muscles to relax. 

Since I didn't know what I would need, I just grabbed the whole box of 10 oils I have and ran out the door to work.

I put on some Frankincense oil when the tics started to get really bad and to my great relief, things calmed down AND I managed to stay awake and function during the rest of work. 

I might have to carry this stuff around more often, just in case.

Bonus Post! Paula's a Jerk

I know I usually post on Saturdays, but today Paula was a bit of a jerk, but it was also kind of funny and I had to share. 

Today at work, a couple of ladies that I work with where talking about a customer. While one of them (we'll call her V) was at lunch, the customer was shocked to learn that V is retiring in April. They even went so far as to say, "But she's younger than I am and I'm not retiring! She's younger than YOU and YOU aren't retiring!"

This was said to another coworker (we'll call her J), who is retiring next year because she is, in fact, a year younger than V. 

So as J and V were discussing this conversation, J says to V, "It's because you have less wrinkles than I do..."

At which point, Paula jumps in with her "laughing" tic. Luckily, neither J nor V heard this outburst over their own conversation, but the entire group of ladies that I work with turned to me with wide eyes and open mouths.

My own eyes bulged as I turned deep red, covering my mouth as soon as I realized what was being implied. I was so embarrassed!

Playing the Part

Wow, how has it been another week already? I might be one of few people who feels like January has flown by.

There are times when I feel like working a full time job really constricts my ability to do the things that I want to do.

I want a clean house, I want a finished novel, I want to wake every morning without an alarm and feel rested, I want to exercise and cook better meals, I want to be out in the sunshine now that we are having a mini heat wave.

My time feels so limited and I'm amazed at how much of a physical adjustment this really is for me. It is helping me to become more focused during the time that I do have and I can be much more productive, but it is still really hard some days to make myself go to work. 

I even quite love my job. Had I started working at a bank before I published a book, I might still be saying, "Someday I'd like to publish a book."

It's so easy for me to feel confused and conflicted these days and I'm still trying to figure out so many things. 

It can be really hard to carve a space for yourself when there are so many boxes already created. The banker box, the writer box, the wife and mother box...

I want all of them. So I have to do some heavy renovations, which isn't always easy. 

Some days it just feels easier to allow myself to slide easily into one of the pre-arranged boxes and simply play the part. 

But I've seen better. And I want that.

I'll keep you updated as I try to figure out a better way to do this, but for now, I'm exhausted and it's a lot of hard work.

Madamn Update

I don't think I had any idea just how much went into writing a novel.

Sure, I've written and published 4 books, but they were nonfiction. Those were relatively easy.

There is so much more to writing a novel, especially a historical fiction one. I spent so much time today just trying to get a decent timeline aligned. 

There are so many details to cover. In chapter 1 alone, which I spent this morning working on, had to make sure I lined up ages with Napoleon's 100 days and the leading up to the battle of Waterloo, learning that the summer of 1815 felt like winter due to a volcanic eruption in Indonesia. 

I had to change the year and a few detailed lines of description and dialogue before I could even worry about the character's introductions and personalities and leading into character development. 

This novel is important to me. I want to get it right.

But wow does it hurt my brain sometimes. 

And I worry about how long it is going to take me to finish and to get it released. Originally the plan was to release it August 22 of 2023. Which I obviously missed. 

August 22 is my main character's birthday and I want to publish it on that day. Will I make it by 2024? I'm no longer sure. I thought another year would be enough time, but some of these details just don't add up. Not to mention the lack of detail I have to add to the descriptions, the character development, etc. 

Pray for me. 

Send help.

Something. 

Paula Strikes Again!

It's been a long time since I've done a Tourette story post. 

So the fun thing about working a new job is having new stories from new people as they get introduced to Paula and get used to her. 

I've been at this new job now for about two months. Some people are already getting used to her. For example, my supervisor Amanda asked to meet with me for a check in and to see how I'm doing with onboarding and touch base about how I'm adjusting and fitting in, which left Bethany alone on the teller line for a few moments.

Amanda was telling Bethany where we would be if she needed us, but told her, "Don't yell for us though, I'm so used to Jessica screaming that I just ignore it now."

This has now become the joke around the office, don't yell, we'll just think it's Jessica or Paula screaming and ignore it.

I love my new coworkers.

Off to an Ambitious Start

New Year's Day I got ambitious. 

I downloaded a new app on my phone so I could scan and have a record of all the books that I own. I've been buying a lot of duplicates and I don't want to do that anymore.

Problem is, I already have a LOT of books. 

So far, I have scanned 836 TITLES, as in, that's not counting the duplicates I have found.

The crazy part is, I am not done. 

Even crazier, the app won't really register all the journals that I have, both full and empty. I have in my possession 21 journals that I have filled. Those are just the ones here with me, not currently with my parents. 

And it doesn't count the empty journals (or notebooks) that I also have. I haven't counted those yet, so I don't know what that number is. When I have a total, I'll let you know, but for now, this project consumes me. 

Short entry today, but I have to know my final total!

The curiosity is probably the only thing making me move forward on this project, because I'm kind of over it...

But at least it will be done and I will have a record of all my books!

Scanning them as they come in will be MUCH easier to deal with.