Hey friends!

I've had a lot on my mind the past few days, as evidenced by the ELEVEN PAGES I wrote in my journal yesterday. It's not always that much, for the record. I write so often that it doesn't all come out at once like that.

Anyway, some background context: I'm a huge fan of Dr. Benjamin Hardy. I worked quite closely with him for a time and learned a lot from him. We don't work quite as closely now, but I do still love reading his books.

I've been reading Be Your Future Self Now (PS- that's an affiliate link) and seeing posts about a new program he is running to finish 2023 strong. There are 8 weeks left in this year that can accomplish big goals and set up 2024 for some big forward momentum.

As my life is about to make some big changes with me going back to work full time, I've been writing and figuring out what I want my life to look like and what is most important. 

Luckily, a full time job does seem to fit into those goals quite nicely. There are 3 areas that I want to make a priority, my finances, my family, and my career as an author.

For the last 8 weeks of this year, I'll be focusing on my health. Which also luckily, has a lot of overlap in my 3 priorities for 2024. See, each of those 3 priorities have much more specific sub-goals.

In regards to family, my husband and I want to have children. But if my body is going to first of all get pregnant and then carry a baby, there are a lot of health things that need to get in line. 

Also in regards to family, we need to have the finances to afford children and to buy a place where we have room to grow. 

Obviously, my career as an author is going to affect our finances as well. 

In Be Your Future Self Now,  Dr. Hardy speaks of Steve Jobs when he returned to Apple. At the time, they had many different products and Jobs removed most of them. They focused on just a few products and made them incredibly high quality.

Which I've also realized I need to be better at within my business. I can add more as I go along, but especially with the time constraints I now have, I need to focus on what is most important. 

Right now, that is finishing Madamn. As I publish and promote it, it will feed into building the publishing house. However, the publishing house is not the current focus.

Sadly, this also means that I might have to put a pause on the Reader Escape Retreat I usually host every year. Which kind of stinks, they were finally starting to build some momentum. They have been growing, so it's hard to hit the pause button on that. 

But I feel so much more clarity in what I want. And it's exciting. 

Happy November!

And welcome to NaNoWriMo!

I'm not participating this year, which is weird. However, I want to actually finish a novel for once. I've started a few and got stuck.

I think they just weren't my genre. It's funny how writing about real people make things just come alive for me. 

It's almost like they are whispering to me from beyond the grave. 

Anyway, this year, I'll be working more on re-writes and edits than actually putting words on the page. I want to do this woman justice and make sure Madamn is the best that it can be. 

So for the writers, good luck during NaNo, enjoy it!

I'll just be in my hole massaging the words.

Time Is A Funny Thing

Timing is a funny thing, don't you think? 

Remember how just a few days ago I was upset because I had been let go from a job?

Turns out, I now have a job offer. 

It's been ONE WEEK. I'm actually kind of impressed. 

During my interview yesterday, I was told they would want another week or two to continue to interview applicants and make a selection. Then I got a call this morning from them offering me the position. 

I was shocked to say the least.

Everything happened so very fast. It's almost like it was meant to be in a lot of ways. This job is going to be a much better fit for me, something I might even be willing to do long term because the benefits are simply awesome. Better than any job I've ever had (and trust me, I've had a few).

But what is really sending me is the timing. This job that is such a great fit was not available 2 months ago when I was looking for a job. Finances had been so very tight and my husband and I needed the extra income. 

I was able to get some extra income, then was let go at the exact time that this position was available.

I'm a bit nervous about it since it is a full-time position. I haven't had one of those in several years. But I did write books 1, 2, and 3 while working full time, so it should be ok, right?

I wonder if it will be ready in time or if I will have to delay again. It's hard to say, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, I might have to go down to just one blog post per week. I've been doing really well with multiple, but that was part time. I'll see what I can do.

Back At It

 Ok, so crazy story.

When I first graduated from college, I looked all over to find a full time job and enter the workforce. I was bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to go and work!

But the only jobs I could find were part time. If they were hiring at all. It took me a while to finally break into the working world.

What I find funny is now that I run my own business and want a part time job to supplement my income, there are lots of people hiring, but only full time. And that's almost a non-negotiable because they are short staffed. 

I was talking with my neighbor yesterday and the company she works for is only hiring full time because she is working 12 hr shifts. Her coworker was just about to finish 24 hours of working.

Which shocked me, I would have thought that was illegal, pulling 2 12 hr shifts back to back like that.

But that's not a company I want to work for.

It's crazy how much times have changed. I'm not sure what it would look like for me to go back to work full time again. I haven't done that since 2020. I feel very fortunate that I haven't had to. 

It does make me wonder if I could do more with my own business. I would love to do it full time if I felt I could make a living off it. 

I'm just not sure I'm there yet.

Part of that is likely my own insecurity and shying away from the actual sales part that would bring me the income. 

So I'll keep at it while I'm job hunting and see what I can manage. 

BUT if you feel like supporting, remember that I do have 4 published books you can purchase, as well as an online course for Creativity. 

All are available on my website: paulajeanferri.com

Life Update Yet Again

 Life changes so very quickly.

I woke up tired this morning. I didn't want to go to my part time job as a dental assistant, but at least it was a half day, right?

After work, I was scheduled for my 6 week evaluation. 

It went well, I knew all the names of the tools, I have been improving and I know mostly what I'm doing and I'm ready to go chair side... 

But. 

I was let go. 

First of all, I must say that I have never been let go from a job before. Honestly, that was the most surreal part. 

I knew being a dental assistant was a stretch and a large difference from my usual type of job. And overall, I was doing really well at it. 

The dentist is a friend of mine and I'm not upset by his decision at all. It made complete sense (even if it doesn't sound like it here... there are things that affected this decision that aren't shareable and I respect that). 

I'm mostly weirded out, because I leave jobs voluntarily. This is new and weird. Again, not bad... just a bit nerve wracking in regards to having to find another job and the financial aspect of things. 

I'm sitting here just wishing I was already there, you know? Madamn was published and selling millions of copies worldwide, that I am also selling merch for my books, my reading retreats are so full I have to do multiple per year just to keep up with the demand, and I get to still do smaller writing projects for friends, and overall in control of my life.

The thing is, I know I will get there. It's just making sure things are stable in the meantime.

I don't mind losing the job. I mind the loss of financial security it provided. 

So off I go again, searching for a new job.

Wish me luck and pray for me y'all.

For the Love of History

You know what I love about history?

Understanding myself and where I come from.

I think that gets overlooked a lot.

Like, sure, I have Tourette syndrome, and having a name for it helps, but I love knowing that this isn't a new thing.

This has been around for almost a century and a half.

The first recorded case (and the reason we have a diagnosis) was a woman in 1800's France. Not only that, she was a countess, shortly after the French Revolution when relations between the classes were tense at best.

AND she had the swearing form of Tourette's called Coprolalia.

As I've studied her life preparing for this novel, I have LOVED seeing how she never hid.

We have records of her cussing out Napoleon's son. We have records of her nicknaming Jean Menier, founder of the Menier chocolate factory in France "Baron Cocoa."

When I was first diagnosed, I read of people who met in church basements with the lights off to have support groups for those with TS.

I found many FB groups on social media, where the only real discussion was medication and side effects and wishing for a cure.

While it's can be argued this was because of her upper class title, keep in mind how many rules the noblesse in France had to follow. Or how nervous they might have been to make a misstep at the risk of loosing their heads.

It should also be noted that these interactions were more commonly known as she aged. it is a confidence that she grew into, and I love that.

We don't always start out confident in the things we do, but we can get there.

This woman and her history fascinate me.

Her parents and grandparents... her family line each faced trials and struggles that inspire me.

It hurts that her story was lost for so long, but oh, what a privilege to rediscover this woman and her uncredited mark on the world.

It's coming soon. Not soon enough, I grant you, but soon. 

Nostalgia

Yay, a blog post with photos!! And there will be a LOT of them. I couldn't narrow it down.

I've been seeing a lot of posts on social media from friends that I used to work with. For a time, I worked at the Polynesian Cultural Center in Laie, Hawaii, which just celebrated it's 60th Anniversary.

Friends are posting pictures of a time and place that changed me so much. 

When I stop and think about it, it wasn't always that great of a place to work. I was, after all, a white student from the mainland, and many of the jobs were a work-study exchange program for college students coming from all over the world, so my job often hung in the balance depending on how many intern spots were needed.

But overall, I loved my time at the PCC. All I really think of is all the wonderful people that I met there, being in the sunshine, learning how to weave hats, headbands, and balls out of coconut leaves, watching the shows, the yummy food, and learning and growing so much as a person.

That time in Hawaii in general was just so good for me in every aspect of my life. Fun fact, that's where I was when I first started my blog about all the funny stories I had with my Tourette syndrome, shortly after I was diagnosed over there.

It's where I first met my now husband, though at the time, he was simply my best friend and we knew that dating was a bad idea. 

It's where I first failed-hard- and lost just about everything important to me.

It's where I learned to build a life I actually wanted. 

It's where I learned that I wasn't crazy for the weird things I had thought as a child. We had entire class discussions about stories and their importance.

It's where I wrote my paper on Tourette syndrome and how it affects communication, which eventually became my first book.

Hawaii has my heart for helping me become the person I am today.