Another week come and gone! I managed to get Madamn out to beta readers on Monday and I was so proud of myself! So while I'm waiting for feedback from them, I've been working on fulfillment for other items needed for the Kickstarter and still working on filling the Reader's Escape. 

It's wonderful to feel like I'm making so much progress after so long where movement was minimal. I'm still thankful every day that I quit my job at the bank, even if I'm still wishing I had done it a couple of months earlier.

I'm still cutting all of these deadlines really close. I'm honestly worried I might have to push the launch date back a few weeks just so I have time to promote it. But I guess that depends on what I hear back from beta readers.

In the meantime, I'm spending my time working my part time job as I continue to build and prepare as much as possible!

It doesn't feel like there is really much to tell right about now, but soon there will be more than plenty!

This week has had a few days where I've been barely able to function, but luckily those were also days when I had support and things were still moving. 

Every once in a while, I feel successful. It's not often tied to any kind of income. Back in the fall of 2020 I had what I then considered the most successful I had ever felt. It might still be the top, to be honest. 

I was working as an elementary school librarian at the time and had just showed up to clean the books that had come in the day before (because COVID). I had been there maybe 10 minutes when my grandma called very worried because Grandpa had doctor appointments in a town 2 hours away but wasn't feeling well enough to drive. Grandma couldn't drive because she is blind.

She asked if I would be able to take them to the doctor. I said, "Absolutely." I stood up and walked out the door. I did not have to ask to use any time off or cancel any classes or explain to anyone. I just left.

This week, I had another one of those, but different. 

My goal for this week was to finish one specific project for Kickstarter fulfillment. I had asked for the help of a woman I go to church with. I thought the two of us would knock it out pretty quickly. However, I was not feeling well, but everything got finished while I actually did work on something less physically involved.

So I actually made MORE progress than I thought I was going to. It's a cool feeling to have the help and support of others and to know that not everything depends on or revolves around me. 

Thinking lately about success and growth and what that looks like. Obviously, I don't always think it is a monetary thing. Sure, the money is helpful, but having the ability to leave full time employment, to take care of people I love, and to have people who not only love me and take care of me, but who also believe in the projects I do. 

It feels really good. 

I feel more successful than I did a month ago in a bank job, making good money with great benefits.

But the biggest success of all to me is feeling like I get to follow a unique and inspired path for me. A divine purpose that means more to humanity than I do on my own. I'm not saying this like I'm unimportant, quite the opposite, it makes me feel MORE important. Which, coming from someone who always questioned her worth and if life was worth living, means a LOT.

I love feeling like I am doing something good in the world around me and that I feel so fulfilled doing it. It brings me joy, not just to write, but to feel like others need what I have to say, even if it hasn't been published yet.

But it is absolutely worth the highs and lows of publishing a book.

The more I grow into this role, the more successful I feel. Like I'm going in the right direction.

And THAT is the ultimate success in my mind.

Oh No...

Friends, I'm sitting here wishing I had quit the bank a month or two earlier. I've been so excited and proud of how much progress I've made in the past month... It has been really good and really needed. I still am proud and excited.

But I'm also filled with anxiety and dread of how much MORE needs to be done and just about ONE MONTH to do it all in! 

So today's post will be kind of short, I do have to get back to the editing and all the things. 

Pray for me y'all. It's going to take a miracle to get this all together in time!

Happy Independence Day!!

This year, I feel like there is a lot I am celebrating. Not only the independence of the United States of America, but also my recent freedom full a full time job.

Although, not gonna lie, this week really put a bit of a wrench in things. There was no routine so I'm still a bit scattered and less organized, but still incredibly happy. 

I started my new job this week which is every bit as wonderful as I was expecting. In fact, Paula got so excited that a woman stepped around the corner with an excited look on her face looking for the puppy that just barked.

Spoiler alert, it was me.

BUT this shop that I work at also happens to carry my books, which then naturally led to me pointing them out and selling a copy!

I'm still so excited about this job and how much progress I've been able to make this week on my work. 

There is still more than I would like as far as cleaning up the novel, but I'm thrilled with the progress I'm making and can't wait to share Madamn with you!

Back at It!

Hey friends!

Things have finally settled down a little bit in my life. Mostly. Our water heater had a leak in it while we were away from the house, but all things considered, we had the best case scenario and we took care of most of it yesterday.

Which means today I am back at it! I've already been to the post office, drawn up an invoice for books to be in a traveling book trailer (that will also be at the Reader's Escape!) and purchased a few gifts for the Escape book boxes. 

Things are moving right along with Madamn and I love how well things are finally starting to come together! 

I should have it to beta readers in mid-July and ready to go in time for me to focus completely on marketing and promotion for the release day!

I'm just so ready for it to be done. As much as I love this book and this process, it has been a long time coming and I can't wait to start on the next project with my husband!

What Day Is It??

Remember how I quit my job and last Friday was my last day? While this past week has been very full and fulfilling and I've been able to make so much progress on my novel and in business in general... I actually almost forgot that today is Saturday and that I needed to do a blog post!

I'm actually really proud of myself right now. So now that things are more free and flexible, I might be posting more often. 

Maybe not, we will have to see.

I will for sure continue to post every week, but it may not be strictly on Saturday anymore since I obviously can't remember what day of the week it is anymore. 

But this week has been very special in a lot of ways and very hard in others. 

I've loved having a full week with no job to attend to, how much progress I've been able to make on Madamn, being able to relax and spend time with my family. The hard part is that my family has been in a bit of emotional turmoil.

It's been so good to be here for the support and to support my family as well, since this would be happening regardless of where I am, but it's still never easy to watch people you are close to struggle and suffer. 

But I have still managed to write a few new scenes and been able to do a few edits, as well as other important aspects of running a book business, while being here to support my family.

Honestly, that is my favorite part about being a writer. Knowing that I have the flexibility and freedom of time to do what is needed to support those I love and be active in the community.

I Survived!

Whew! What a week. To have a full moon in a customer-facing job and your last day be on Friday the 13th was a bit of a challenge! But I finally made it and am free to schedule my days much more freely.

Working full time this close to a book launch has been a challenge, but I'm excited to see how things are finally able to progress.

Because I'll be honest, there hasn't been much of that lately.

At least not near the level I need it to be. I'm so excited to know that it's going to get so much better. This weekend is going to be spent in recovery, which does actually include cleaning my house. It's hard to relax when I have dishes in the sink that need to be washed and laundry that needs folding.

But then the real work begins and hopefully you will be seeing a lot more of me online so that I can finish this novel and really get the word out for the launch in August.

With all of that said, this is going to be a short post so I can get to it!

Have a great week! I know I will!!!!

What A Week!

I don't know if your week was as crazy as mine, but I may have done something fairly drastic, but oh so good.

I quit my job. 

I'll be working part time for a local company, which means I might actually finish this novel on time. 

This week will be my last week at the bank, I'll take a few weeks off to visit family and start when I get back. Which I am incredibly excited for. I miss my family and this trip will be so good for my soul. As will this new job. 

This post is a bit late today because I spent most of the day doing work for the Bookmarked Literary Festival. Remember how I joined that board a couple of months ago? I spent today at a local festival's booth promoting it and connecting with local authors. 

The event is happening October 11-12 in Lander, WY and I'm so excited for it. I always meet some wonderful people and have a chance to sell a few great books. 

It's already late in the day and my husband and I have errands we need to run still, but things are certainly picking up speed and I can't wait to see where things land!

New Tic Alert!

So the whole point of this blog int he beginning was to record all the funny tics I have, so once in a while, when something new pops up, you get a new treat. Like just this morning.

After waking up, my husband started making breakfast. I had intended to come and help him, but didn't actually make it out to the kitchen until the meal was ready. 

When I came into the kitchen I apologized for neglecting him and said that I felt bad about it. Since I had been in the bathroom for a while, he was quite understanding, but also called me gross.

Paula came to my rescue and piped up with a, "nuh-uh!" tic. Which made us both giggle, but then my husband called my pet monkey bird (how he refers to Paula) as a liar.

But Paula's response had us both laughing.

She followed up again with the "nuh-uh!" tic, which would have been great timing, but what really put it over the edge was a new tic, where she squawked like a parrot.

The parrot squawk was new, but I've done it a couple of times this morning, so she is really starting to play up this monkey bird role my husband has put on her. 

Anyway, in book news, I have finished the new section I was writing and got through another chapter this week. I haven't made this much progress in a while, so I'm super proud of myself and plan on getting a lot more done now that the Kickstarter is out of the way.

The only other thing I have going on right now is to fill the Reader's Escape house for August! Which is sneaking up quickly. But at least everything else is planned!

Keeping Up with All the Things!

Whoops, I missed a week. I've been so good about posting every Saturday and the past couple of weeks have just been so hectic!

But good news, it will get better soon, I am officially going down to part time at work starting June 16th. I am so ready and it can't come fast enough. I'm already thrilled to have a 3 day weekend and get caught up on all of the things I missed that I normally do, like this blog post, finalizing the new chapter I'm writing and catching up on edits.

But great news, the Kickstarter has funded and I have already paid the artist for the 3 remaining scenes that will appear in the book!

I'm already starting to compile things that will need to be shipped out to backers. 

So while that is going on in the background, I'm focusing on selling spots for the Reader's Escape and book launch party. 

All things considered, I'm keeping my head above water, though it feels like just barely. With Monday off, I'm hoping to not only maintain, but move ahead of the game just a little bit. 

I feel like the momentum surrounding the book has died down a little, but part of that is feeling overwhelmed and not having enough healthy balance in my life. So I'm also hoping to do something fun with the bit of extra time. 

I might need some ideas, feel free to comment and share your plans for the holiday weekend and/or something fun you have done this week. 

With all of the working, it is taking over my life and I need something to bring a breath of fresh air into my life again. 

We Made It!!!

So the Kickstarter is done finally. The 3 weeks flew by, but at the same time, it was exhausting. We made it to 300% funded though! I'm so proud of how it turned out, and it was worth all the work.

However after, I needed a break and my sweet husband took me away for a weekend and it was a much needed reprieve. 

It also happened to be our anniversary, so he surprised me with a trip to not just one, but TWO bookstores. So after spending my budget, we spend the weekend reading and relaxing. 

But now the pressure is on to actually finish the novel and get the goodies to the people that have contributed and backed the novel. 

It's sure difficult with all the new shiny, pretty books calling my name!

However, the design end of things all look great, and it's just the novel and overall promotion to be working on until August.

Speaking of, the book launch itself was moved to Salt Lake City where I can do book signings and host a Reader's Escape, while having a "birthday celebration" for Em at the Grand America Hotel.

Want to join me? 

Let me know and I'll get you information!

Three Days Left!

Happy Saturday friends!

I actually almost missed posting today! This weekend has already been kind of crazy. Partially because my Kickstarter project ends in just THREE DAYS!

I'm super proud of how well it's doing, but could certainly stand to have a bit more support so I can really turn this novel into something fantastic.

Here is the link again for you:

Madamn: The Cursing Countess - A Regency Novel Based On Fact

This week has been pretty crazy, so my husband and I are taking the weekend off (hence me almost forgetting about this), while we enjoy local doings and goings on.

So please support, please share about the Kickstarter, and as always, remember you are awesome!

Kickstarter Update

Hey there my friend. So remember how I launched my Kickstarter last week? We are at the halfway point and we are over 200% funded!

We even hit the first stretch goal to give everyone and added bonus when I send out their rewards. I would love to double this goal, and I still have a week and a half to do it.

Already, in addition to the goodies you get for backing reward tiers, I'm sending out 3 stickers and digital artwork of the characters. 

I'm considering adding additional add ons so that people can get extra bonuses since I kept it fairly small at first. There is plenty of merch that I could add on. We will see what I can come up with today.

Click on the image to go the the campaign and poke around!

In other news! 

Nothing is set in stone yet, but there are talks of me going part time at work, which would free up so much more time for me to do things like keeping my house clean and actually finishing this novel. 

It would be nice not to feel like this book is consuming my waking days and I can do things outside of all that goes into a book launch.

Because right now it feels like it's slowly killing me. I have overdone my schedule and I am ready to take a break. I will be SO ready for the Reader's Escape when it comes in August. 

Anyway, I'm off to it. Hope you have a marvelous week!

Kickstarter is LIVE!!

I finally did it! I finally launched my Kickstarter campaign! Even more exciting, it is already FUNDED!!!

Which means I get to move on to the stretch goals I have created, allowing me to put more goodies into the hands of backers. Some of the things will only be available on Kickstarter, while others (like the book itself) will be. 

A lot of what is available will depend on how popular it is during this campaign. 

So far, the canvas tote is a popular add on, so that one will continue to be available, but we will have to see what else does well. 

Below are some of the add-ons available during the campaign. Comment and let me know your favorite!

Campaign banner

Here are a few of the add-ons available with the book. 

First of all, we have the embroidery pattern inspired by events that take place during the novel. I may not be a professional pattern writer, but I am pleased with how it turned out.

This design is for a t-shirt. It features a silhouette of our main character. Above the silhouette is the title of the novel and below is a clever line my husband came up with that I feel perfectly describes the novel. 

I have tried my best to keep the story of the cursing countess clean and low spice. 

At the same time, I didn't want to shy away from important aspects of her story. But overall, the tone is wholesome.

This design is also for a t-shirt. There is no cute story behind it, just the lovely embellishments common for the Regency time period during which the novel is set. 

But of course, it had to be book related because that is what I do. Everything always seems to come back to books.

This is the design for the canvas tote. I'm hoping it comes out like I envision it, but I'm still working on making it look exactly right.

However, it is easily one of the best moving add-ons for the Kickstarter campaign. Meaning once I finally get it right, this piece might be sticking around for a while.

And why wouldn't it, with such a powerful reminder (and line from the novel)?

Just in case you needed another reminder, the same line is going to be put on bookmarks that are available with all of the physical tiers on the Kickstarter. 

It also features Em's chateau (her actual home, not just what I imagine it to look like) and her family coat of arms.

Last year, I decided I wanted a hobby that didn't revolve around books. So I picked up crochet. 

Then I started to crochet bookmarks. So now this is also a thing I do and I've made several. I've used the smallest yarn I could find (it feels more like thread) and once I'm out, I'm done. Micro-crochet is not my jam, but was a great learning curve.

As I write, I sometimes will use music to inspire me and get me in the mood and help with focus. 

I tried to use a lot of songs from the time period Em lived in and would have potentially listened to. So I created a Madamn Playlist that I am offering as an add-on.

As I listened to these older classical pieces, sometimes what I really needed was something more modern to get me in the right mood for character building.

So I also have a playlist of songs Em would be listening to if she were here today. This playlist is also available during the Kickstarter campaign.

As the campaign grows and I have increased funding, there will be additional perks and goodies that will be added to the tiers, but occasionally, I might also be able to add additional products as more add-ons once I know we are able to fund them.

One of the biggest stretches that I'm hoping we hit if we can make it into 5 figures, I want to make a collector's edition cover of the novel. But not just any special cover.

I want it faux leather with debossed and gilded embellishments. Doing a special print run is going to cost significantly more, especially with all the bells and whistles and is going to cost a pretty penny. So while I'm not holding my breath that we will actually make it, I am working and praying that we get there.

I had some mockups of it made and I am just drooling over them! I'm not going to share them unless we get close to the possibility, making it a motivation to fund just a little bit higher. Right now, it feels cruel to dangle a carrot that might not be within reach. I know it's frustrating me.

Maybe I'll have to run another campaign after this one to see if we could fund on it's own, offering only the special edition and merch. But we shall see.

Right now the goal of the Kickstarter is to help fund the editing and formatting process as well as some additional artwork. 

But here's to hoping it will be possible to actually knock it out of the park!

Concept of Time

I'm sitting here amazed that another week has already flown by. It's crazy to me how fast time can go... while at the same time, so much can be done.

There were times this week that time didn't feel like it was simply passing me by, but that I had time left to do just a little bit more. 

There was one day this week that on my one hour lunch break, I managed to walk home from work, make and eat lunch, hang out with my husband, pick up an order down in town from a local print shop, walk to my hairdressers to schedule an appointment, stop by the grocery store for a couple of items, drive home so I could smooch on my husband a bit before walking back to work- and all easily without feeling rushed at all.

It felt so good. 

I'm actually impressed with what I was able to accomplish this week, but also, wow, it's already Saturday again!

I do think a lot of it has to do with how much better I'm feeling and needing excessive amounts of sleep. And since I have more energy, I'm able to accomplish more rather than simply doom scrolling at the end of the day.

Which is also shocking considering how short staffed we have been at work and how much extra work we are doing to pull the load. 

Yet I feel better than I have when we were fully staffed. 

Maybe there is also something to the fact that I can feel of my divine destiny pulling me forward and growing in ways I never thought possible.

I've said for years that I know how much this book is going to change my life once it is published. And I 1000% believe that. I can feel it pushing me forward, almost beyond my control.

And it's getting incredibly close. 

There are times when I feel stressed and behind schedule with editing and all of the moving pieces, but at the same time... I know it will work out.

As will the timing of it all.

Thank You!

I can't even tell you how much better this week was from last week! Not that much changed circumstantially, but that I feel better and more capable of handling things. (Prayer works btw, I asked for prayers last week and I'm feeling them.) So thank you so, so much.

I feel much more calm and like I have a better idea of how things will play out. I feel supported and capable. It's a fantastic feeling. 

SO! With that in mind, we are moving forward! I have the first private room for the Reader's Escape/ book launch week sold, feel MUCH better about the Kickstarter campaign and am finally making progress on Madamn so things feel like they are coming together!

I hope I'll be able to report some amazing progress this week, since I'm feeling so much better. It helps that the sun will be shining all week with warm temperatures here, I absolutely function better with sunshine and warmth. 

So off I go! Keep those prayer coming, they are sustaining me!

Send Help!

This week was another crazy week at work, which meant most of the week was spent just recovering from my day to day job. 

Then I found a missing chapter in my novel. So I'm working on writing a new scene today. 

I'm starting to get a bit nervous about finishing this book on time. Especially with all of the other projects like the Kickstarter and preparing for the actual book launch. This is exactly what I was hoping to avoid when I set a deadline for the book being ready to print by December. 

Having a full time job, trying to run a household, and still try to grow my career as an author is really starting to take it's toll. I'm simply exhausted most of the time. I'm going to have to figure out how I can best balance all of the things and fast.

There was a meeting this week with a friend helping me to get things right with my Kickstarter, so there was at least a little bit of progress made this week, but right now, I'm living for the weekends to get things accomplished. 

So please send any and all prayers this week for me to have the energy and inspiration and focus to get things progressing. 

I'm Feelin' Good!

Happy Saturday friends!

While I made some good progress this week with edits (and finally sent the document to an editor- yay!), I also took a day off to completely just to relax and NOT have a strict plan to follow for maximum productivity.

I can't even tell you how good it felt. I feel like I finally have more energy and can absolutely plow through things today. And it's only Saturday! Yesterday felt so much like Saturday with all the running around I did!

Not only do I feel more rested, but I also feel like I'm figuring out my own health things, which is contributing to the energy I'm feeling. This week has been fantastic.

Even when I made a mistake at work and had to spend almost an entire day digging through old papers, I'm came out feeling like I had a great workout on my glutes, and wasn't emotionally ruffled, like I normally would have been. I can be so hard on myself when I've made a mistake, but I was just so unbothered by the whole experience.

It's only been a week on this new supplement I'm taking, but it's making a WORLD of difference. I've been taking it in conjunction with another supplement, which is about to run out, and will be the true test of how well it works. If I can use JUST this supplement and still feel this good, you can bet I'll be letting you know!

So that's my big update this week, stay tuned and there will be more fantastic updates next week!

Updated Images!

Happy Saturday friends! This week has been absolutely chaotic, but despite all the things, I managed to get some new scenes written and received the updated images for my characters. I love them!

Just look!!!

These make me so happy!

I can't even tell you how much these characters mean to me. I'm actually starting to get nervous about sharing their stories, because I want people to love them as much as I do. 

It has changed my life so much as I get to know them and have been writing this story. I'm glad that I've had the chance to go through this week and make so many good changes. There are just about 5 months left until the launch!

OH! And I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not, but the Paris trip is delayed...

The castle reached out and let me know that someone else wanted the entire chateau for the week I was looking at. If I wanted it, I would have to sign the lease and send a (quite large) deposit within 36 hours. And while I have had plenty of interest in the trip, I haven't had anyone pay yet, so we are going to postpone until next year.

But I figure that way people will have time to save for it and have a chance to read the book and love the characters as much as I do.

So we are still trying to figure out what the plan is for the launch party. It will involve a Reader's Escape, just maybe not something international. I will keep you posted, though.

Anyways, I'm going to get some more writing done, but I hope you have a marvelous week!

How Did This Week Even Happen?

Wow, I almost forgot to write an update today! Y'all this week has been insane. I can't believe we are already a week into March! It was spent trying to recover from getting sick last Saturday and getting back into "normal" life, which was ridiculously busy. 

Hopefully now we can have a bit more of a "normal" start to the month and keep things moving forward. Maybe. Today is already half gone and we lose an hour tomorrow, so, you know.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm starting to feel the pressure of the 5.5 months left to the book launch, especially where I have not yet started my Kickstarter campaign. 

Don't get sick, everyone, ok? Life turns into some kind of hot mess when you start feeling better. 

On the upside, I have been crazy productive today trying to do all the things. Writing done, Kickstarter updates discussed, living room cleaned, blog post up, about to send exclusive info to my email list...

Speaking of, if you aren't on there, you should be. You can do that over on my website.

Anywho, since there is so much going on, I'm going to keep it short. Maybe by next week I'll have more cohesive thoughts I can share!

Sad Week Updates

Hey there friends! This week has been kind of crazy for me. I'm writing this away from home, I am attending the funeral of a friend of mine. So there are plenty of distractions and today's post will be short. 

Sad update: I was contacted by the chateau and there is a large group wanting to book every single room the same week I want to be there. 

I had no paid guests and crickets when I asked for an update from people. I had no ability to pay the deposit required with the signing of the contract, so I bit the bullet and withdrew. Here's to hoping it can happen next year when I have some more dedicated fans of the novel and a bit more time to prepare. 

Meaning the book launch party will be moving to somewhere a bit more local. I'm not sure exactly where yet. I'll be sure to update you when I have more information, but know I'm working on still planning an amazing book launch party in August.

Since I already have the time scheduled off work, I will still do a reading retreat in connection with it. 

Again, I'll let you know when I have the info I need. But, at the same time since I'm no longer planning an international retreat, I'm feeling much better about being able to focus on actually finishing the novel since I'm behind schedule there.

So I made a whoops this week. I was all excited about some portraits I had commissioned of my characters from the novel. We had done some preliminary work and I thought I had received the final version. 

Tuns out, it was actually still a rough version. Which I learned when he sent final versions of Em and her sister. 

I had loved them before, but wow, I adore these updated versions! I don't have them all back yet, so in the meantime, here are the preliminary sketches I thought were the final versions. 

Silly me even printed them up and framed them! Anyway, I hope you enjoy, I've got to get to work on the Kickstarter!

I'm behind. I was hoping to launch that on the 25th after getting feedback from a group of authors who have run successful campaigns. So it will be more like the beginning of March. It's right around the corner, so I have to get my tail in gear!

So Many Updates!

Whoops, sorry I missed last week friends, I was working a craft fair. Usually, there is a bit of downtime and I'm able to still get the blog post up, but I was surprised at how busy this fair was! 

Especially considering the low foot traffic, but those that were there, we had some great conversations and opportunities come up. 

Good news, I was asked to speak to a local writing group! 

Also this week, things at work have been improving and I'm loving that. 

Then while in conversations this week with a friend who started a local book festival, I learned that she is taking a step back and there is now an opening on the local board. That board met yesterday and discussed me being a part of it and I was accepted!

I am not the newest member of the Bookmarked Literary Festival! So maybe I didn't need one more thing on my plate, but at the same time, I'm excited to get to volunteer thanks to a job that is supportive of the community. 

I also managed to finally figure out how to get my email list up and running, so I'm hoping to start making email updates more consistent. I sent one out recently, but today's email is going to be very special!

You see, I have commissioned art for Madamn and have portraits of 4 of the main characters. There will be a total of 7 scenes throughout the book with art illustrations.

My husband indirectly gave me the idea. You see, he bought a book from a local thrift shop with an inscription dated Christmas day 1872. This book had illustrations throughout in the following style:

The collector's edition of Madamn will have them colorized, while the regular editions will be black and white. 

If you would like to be on this list to receive early access to fun stuff like this, you can sign up HERE. 

Or you could keep your eyes peeled. I'll share them here eventually. 

For this coming week, I should have my Kickstarter up and running, so be sure to watch for that to go live as well. There will be all sorts of exclusive goodies available, so I recommend following and getting notified when that goes live. 

You can do that from this link HERE.

Life Cycles and Lessons

This week was a crazy one for me. After 2 incredible weekends that were incredibly productive, yet restful, the stress of this week has me completely lacking in motivation. 

It's not even that anything incredibly stressful happened at work this week, though it was incredibly stressful. It has more to do with relationships. They are so complex. I have one coworker in particular that is a struggle to work with. And what makes it even more complicated is I do genuinely like this person. 

Yet I find myself struggling to speak up around them, belittled by them, they complain about me to our boss... and now is going to become my boss. 

I'm happy for them. They absolutely have the know-how to do this job, it's the people skills I wonder about. 

Again, relationships are complex. 

Especially considering most of it is my own shortcomings. I have worked incredibly hard the past few months to become a better employee and to make sure I'm doing my job the best I can. I feel like I have made huge improvements. 

So the job is not the issue. 

The issue is my inability to stand up for myself. 

It has been a long standing issue of mine. I've actually come a long way there, too. 

However, life tends to work in cycles that always take us to a new level and can raise us to new heights if we are willing to put in the incredibly hard work. It would be so much easier if I were to just walk away.

I know I have that privilege and that capability. I've at least come that far in my life lessons. I have options. it took me a long time to stop feeling trapped and knowing that I am capable of finding another job and finding other ways to earn income. 

However, I also do legitimately enjoy the job I do and it has amazing perks and benefits. I want to stay. Which means I have to do the hard thing. I have to learn to speak up for myself. 

But boy, has that created some incredible emotional blocks and a lot of tears. My poor, supportive husband has been wonderful in all of this. 

And while I know what I need to do, actually doing the hard thing is another story. This is going to be a process. 

Because I don't have enough going on OUTSIDE of the job that is pushing me.

So we will see what happens.

The Thing About Momentum

I've noticed something this week about momentum. It's like a big rock rolling down a hill and it builds and picks up speed as you go when you are consistent.

I've made so much progress this week and I'm thrilled about how well things are moving. Not only did I get a bunch of writing/editing in this week, but I've been on a roll designing graphics to promote things, I've gotten some great feedback on my Kickstarter project, and most exciting of all, I've finally started working with the artist to create some character art!

There will also be about 7 illustrations that go into the novel itself. 

And in the deluxe edition, they will even be colored instead of in black and white. Things are starting to move along quite quickly and it's fascinating to watch. 

Since I've got all of this momentum, I'm going to use it. Short post today so I can start working on all the things! Have a marvelous week!

Things are Getting Real

This week has been a doozy. I was dealing with a bit of burnout first of all, so that was a struggle at first, but then, I noticed something that I want to do a bit more of a deep dive into, because it's very telling about where I am and where I'm headed.

My husband and I don't fight. We are both very good about talking about things that are bothering us and we discuss them. I did almost pick a fight this week. Not intentionally, mind you. I love my husband a lot. So when there were things that were bothering me, I pointed them out.

Except, in our discussion about why these things were bothering me and how I feared it would make us grow apart, he pointed out that this is something that *both* of us do, and if I didn't allow him this, it would be the thing that actually would drive us apart. 

He was right, as hard as it was to admit, but I am headed towards some big and exciting growth. Life is about to become even more wonderful, and if anyone has ever read The Big Leap,  you know that sometimes we think we can only handle so much happiness and we wait for the other shoe to drop. 

When it doesn't, we subconsciously decide to give it a bit of help and sabotage things. We thrive in the chaos. Somehow we have reached a point where we can't sit in peace and be comfortable. Because this 100% is not just me. 

It is me, especially in this instance. But it is also society as a whole. I totally recommend The Big Leap for anyone wanting to make big steps forward without losing the good things you already have. 

I want to have a family with my husband and know how wonderful he is, he had been the biggest support, but as I get closer to the launch of my big projects, I find myself more irritable towards him rather than leaning into his support. 

Not due to anything he has done, but my own fears that success with change things. But the truth is, it will only change what I let change. I can have my cake and eat it, too.

While we don't hear of them often, there are plenty of successful, even famous, couples who are happy together and stay together. I aspire to be one of them.

I've waited a long time for a relationship as wonderful as the one I have with my husband. I've put in a lot of work and waited a long time for all of my work to come to fruition. 

I'm ready for the next level. With my husband at my side.

The Castle!

What a week! After two weeks with holidays in the middle of them, to have a full work week was simply exhausting! But we made it and here we are! I have absolutely needed this break and am so excited to see what comes of today. It's early yet and I've already had a productive morning.

Highlight of the week, I got to take a virtual tour of the Chateau de Guermantes, which is absolutely stunning. I was given permission to use their photos on my website and socials, but I'm not sure if that includes the blog or not. However, you can see them all on their website as well.

Look at how stunning this place is! 

I can't wait to incorporate all of the details into my novel, but even more importantly, I'm thrilled beyond measure to be going there in August!

If you want to join me, I also finally managed to get the website finalized and you can check out the details here.

I fell a bit behind in a few other things due to some technical difficulties, but those are just about fixed as well. 

Hopefully this week will go by a bit more smoothly, and then I get an extra day off for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day on the 20th, so there will be lots of progress happening soon!

Be sure to follow along and keep an eye out for the details!

Welcome to 2025!

Whoo hoo, we are finally here! We are in 2025, where a lot of BIG dreams and plans are coming to fruition. I'm so excited for this year and have finally allowed myself to start working on something besides my novel.

Which, yes, Madamn still needs work. But I've started having so much fun building my Kickstarter campaign and planning and promoting my book launch/Reader's Escape in Paris. 

You can find the Kickstarter information HERE.

Information about the Paris trip can be found HERE.

I'm so freaking excited that things are finally happening! I'm feeling the pull of the momentum that has been building for years. It's beautiful to feel how excited Em is for her story to be told and finally shared. She is absolutely behind the momentum and it's a beautiful thing to watch.

So be sure to follow along, there will be big things happening during 2025 with no chance of slowing down. 

Also, my husband and I were finally able to celebrate Christmas this week. We had been sick, so the family time got delayed, but I have to share just how lucky I am to have such wonderful family that spoil me so much. 

My parents sent me a neck massager, which I have used pretty much every day since getting it. 

I received a yarn bowl and crochet hooks and blocking mats from my brother in law, his wife gave me looseleaf tea packets, a metal bookmark and page holder.  

My father in law got me a book and wool slippers, while my mother in law gave me socks and a lap desk with a pillow on the bottom. 

My husband gave me a LOT of chocolate and a collector's edition of Madame Bovary. It's SO beautiful and I'm excited to read it. 

The gift that shocked me the most was from my other brother in law who gave me a thermal printer, paper and a cover/carrying case. This thing is so space efficient, which is awesome for my tiny apartment and doesn't require ink cartridges. It works so well, too! 

Anyways, I hope you were as spoiled as I was during the holidays and wishing you a very Happy New Year!