Paula Doesn't Need Help

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Paula has been singing again. She's really musically inclined. In fact, once I started studying music in college, she started to change and evolve from just her normal little squeak that sounded more like a hiccup. I'm afraid she picked up on it more than I did. She keeps up on it and helps me remember every once in a while, too.

The other day at work, she sang the NBC chimes. For the record, the first two notes, form a major sixth. So this was something we legit studied in music class to help us remember/teach intervals. So right as I was getting a refresher course on intervals, Renae chimes in, "Sing it, sister!"

Remember how Paula likes to be the center of attention? She belted out her high pitched, opera diva voice just for Renae. Although, every single one of my co-workers enjoyed that, and Paula received mass appreciation in the form of laughter.

As the one who was trying to work and had been dialing the phone right as Paula's solo began, I had to remind Renae that Paula does NOT need any encouragement.

Oh, Paula. What a diva.

Paula Is Grateful

Friday, April 28, 2017

Who knew Paula could be so sweet? I think is me rubbing off on her this time though. I've been a student of a grateful lifestyle for several years now. Granted, it did start with my parents making me write a thank you letter to almost everyone in my hometown for all the graduation gifts. It's amazing what a small thank you can do.

I confess I started with some prodding from my parents, but I was in awe at the reactions from people. In case you haven't noticed, I like watching those. Then I realized what my own reaction was, and how much happier I was. It has been life changing for me as I have developed this trait and it is very much a part of me and who I am.

So imagine my glee when my sassy Tourette Syndrome showed a sliver of gratitude in IKEA with Kimber. As we were finishing up, Kimber spoke up, "Let's find you a bathroom before we leave." To which Paula gratefully squealed, "Thank you!"

Lingering Laughter

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Meetings are boring, right? At least, according to some. I actually quite like them. I think I'm alone in this, though. Paula sure thinks the opposite. Any kind of meeting... work meetings, church meetings, and any other kind of meeting where Paula has to behave. She will for a while, but certainly not for long.

I had several meetings this weekend. I loved every minute of it. They were church meetings with my stake, and this was the first big gathering we had since the talent night where Paula embarrassed our poor MC. The meeting had just started when Paula decided she was already bored. She let out a nice loud one, similar to the one at the stake talent night. This created quite a stir of laughter.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Nate (the awesome MC who handled the situation incredibly well) duck his head, as our stake president commented, "I sure hope this isn't a bad omen or something."

After this, Paula calmed down. As much as Paula really can calm down that is. Hint: that isn't much. I was amazed at how much people were still talking about the talent night and the stir she caused. Even if she is being silent, she still manages to cause a few giggles with her antics.

After You...

Friday, April 21, 2017

Paula has her polite moments once in a while. She is mostly pretty bratty and sassy, but at least I can feel like I am raising her right. Sometimes I am simply amazed at how much personality she really has and how much she can surprise me. Seriously, it's like she is my own child. Which is kinda helpful since I don't have any, but I still get the life lessons.

Remember the musical I was in last year? The leaders that organized it will no longer be serving in my area. Tomorrow we are having a talent night and the cast has planned a lovely little tribute (those of us who are left anyways). It is funny how in just three rehearsals, she has managed to re-create all her antics. Stealing lines, creating solos for herself... Just, you know, Paula's usual tricks.

However, Carolyn has a part where she gets to run across the stage, while the rest of us sit in the wings. She was standing in back when Hayley said she should be up front. I took a step back and with my arms gestured to her new spot up front, while Paula graciously welcomed her. She even left my smile on my face and it was probably the nicest I have ever seen her. Especially given how she basically cussed Belinda out last week... At least she does have polite moments as well. She's learning.

Talent Show

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Paula has really outdone herself this time. This is now my new favorite Paula story, and I'm still laughing. When it happened, I was laughing so hard I was literally crying. And I haven't done that for a long time.

First, a little background. In my church, we have wards and 5-16 wards create a stake. In the US, a stake must have a minimum of 3,000 people. So stakes are fairly large. Keep in mind that while attendance is rarely 100%, especially for things held on a Monday night, there were a LOT of people at this stake talent show. For time purposes, most wards will do a ward talent show and pick the best act to send to the stake talent show.

There were two MC's filling time in between acts: Nate and Natalie. After the first act, Nate told one of his most embarrassing moments and had everyone in stitches. A few acts later, Natalie asks Nate why he's not in the talent show. "I didn't make the cut." He had sung a mash up of a few random songs. Natalie asked what other talents he had, trying to find one that might have made the cut, also pulling out her knowledge of Nate and his tricks. Nate denied having any other talents until Natalie pointed out he can sound like Kronk from Emporer's New Groove.

Now anyone who knows me, knows I am a huge fan of this movie. Especially when Kronk speaks squirrel. Because squeaks. Right? Here is where it gets fun. Nate said he needed Natalie to make the squirrel noises if he was going to do his Kronk impression. she was in the process of declining when guess who showed up. In all her loud squeaky glory.

Nate's eyes instantly lit up and he started to walk towards me. Genius that I am, I was sitting in the third row. Bad things happen when I sit up front. Nate was all excited about having a volunteer, and I start laughing. He looks at me expectantly as I bring my hand across my throat until I finally manage to breathe out, "I can't!"

At this point, he thinks I am being shy and he holds the microphone out to me before bringing it back, since Paula obviously doesn't need it. Tears start to flow as he continues trying to encourage me, until I compose myself long enough to spit out, "I have Tourette's."


He got super embarrassed. He then asked me if he could explain what happened since no one could hear me without the microphone that he had. After explaining the interaction, Natalie then decided to jump in, "Well, now you have an embarrassing moment for next year."

Part of the reason that this is now my favorite was what happened after. I was backstage getting ready for when I got to go on stage to perform. He stopped me as I walking past and gave me a high five, telling me I was the coolest human he knows. While I don't know Nate well, I do know the crowd he hangs out with and he knows some pretty cool people.

Not only that, but his dad happens to be the Stake President. And I know him and his wife pretty well. They know Paula and exactly what had happened. First Nate's mom, then his dad, individually gave me large hugs and exclaimed, "I love what you did to Nate."

Paula happened to make herself (and by default- me) an instant celebrity in the stake. It gave me a great laugh. I also loved hearing all the reactions of those who knew Paula and what they were thinking as it played out. This story drew itself out the entire evening. It was one of the best stories Paula has ever given me.

Take That!

Friday, April 14, 2017

We all know and love how sassy Paula is. She is not afraid to tell it like it is and is not one to back down from any kind of discussion or argument. Yesterday I had a meeting that was being led by our CEO. The meeting hadn't started yet, and Paula piped up how excited she was for the meeting. It got a few good giggles and one wonderful co-worker started talking about when she first met Paula... and the trouble she caused.

Paula was not about to stand for that! She instantly started ranting and chewing out Belinda for what she just said. Had you seen my face, you would not believe such angry noises could come from someone on the verge of laughing so hard! When she finished, Erica, through a fit of giggles, said she KNOWS Paula was trying to tell her to f@#$& off.

At least Paula was kind enough to censor it in front of the boss...

Naughty Paula.


Wednesday, April 12, 2017

So this week has been a little hectic. There has been lots of overtime at work going on. While I love the people I work with, the amount of work causes excessive amounts of stress and exhaustion and it's been rough. I generally try to keep my blog upbeat and happy, but I also want to make sure I keep it real as well.

That being said, it's been a rough week. Paula has had chances to vent vocally. She gets a few choruses of "Right?" and "Me too." each time. However, it has also given her chances to vent physically as well. My shoulder has been jerking back and forth more than I would like. This makes everything in my back tense, but with all the overtime, I have been unable to visit a massage therapist or my chiropractor to loosen things up back there. It's a never ending cycle. So if I'm MIA for a few days, it's because I look like this and feel worse:

Game Time

Saturday, April 8, 2017

I'm feeling playful today. Must have something to do with being home to play with my nephews for the birthday of the younger of the two. I love my nephews but boy are they active! So since I won't get any fairly mellow games today, let's play Two Truths & a Lie. I want to see if you can guess mine and leave yours in the comments and I will try to guess as well.

Here are my three. let me know which you think is a lie...

1. I was once studying to become a psychologist.

2. I was once homeless for a week during college.

3. I was once grounded from books for an entire summer.

Once Upon A Time

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

People have been asking me stories about Paula again, so I figured I would share an older story from before the blog started. The very first time Paula appeared, it was just a little noise. It sounded like a hiccup. Thankfully, it didn't feel like a hiccup. Hiccups hurt. This didn't.

When it appeared, I was at work at our local public library. I was seventeen years old and a senior in high school. Not only was I working part-time at our local library, but I was taking 9 classes (our high school offered 8...), was heavily involved in the music program as a singer and playing the violin, on a council for my church and was in a local choir. This was the busiest I had ever been in my entire life and I loved it! Come to think of it, things haven't changed much since then...

I had been in the back room, made the noise and thought how awkward it was going to be to have the hiccups in a quiet place like the library. I was pleasantly surprised it was just the one, and I continued the day without incident.

The next day, I did it again. However, this time, I was at the front desk. There were no patrons around, but my co-workers thought it was quite adorable. Again, it was just the one, and the rest of the day passed without much fanfare.

The following day, when it happened again, it appeared twice. Day after day, they continued to come more frequently, and usually when I was working. Although I did this on my days off as well. They just weren't as frequent. Considering all my many other activities, this was rather unusual.

The noises started to become so frequent, my co-workers started COUNTING how many I would do in my 3-4 hour shift. The days they counted, it became more frequent than days they didn't. Either way, they came every day. But Paula has been an attention hog from the beginning...

What the Heck?

Saturday, April 1, 2017

I mean, seriously, Paula. That was uncalled for. Usually, she and I have a pretty decent understanding of what is appropriate. She doesn't go off much in the temple, when I'm singing/performing, etc. But this time she crossed a line and I'm going to have to figure out something to do with her. This might even push me to the point of medication I'm so upset.

It doesn't help that it was an awkward situation to begin with. Strangers don't know about Paula right off the bat and take me for face value. So I was out and about today running my errands, and a complete stranger comes over and starts having a conversation. I'm a friendly person and can hold conversations, but this got weird really fast. About 15 minutes in, this guy starts talking about how beautiful I am and how kind I am to talk to a stranger, and he's never met anyone like me. I don't mind hearing stuff like this, but so much that soon is a little unsettling.

He then proceeds to tell me how he would love to take me out on a date and if I'd let him, he'd kiss me right now. Stranger. 15 minutes. Umm, no. However, Paula decided to intervene with an excited squeal. His eyebrows leap up and he asks, "Really?" Before I had a chance to explain, Paula pipes up again with her, "Yeah, yeah, yeah" tic. So he grabs me and kisses me. Not cool, Paula! I then had to explain not one, but TWO awkward tics and a lot of misunderstanding. I mean, I knew she was a flirt, but whoa!
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