Another week come and gone! I managed to get Madamn out to beta readers on Monday and I was so proud of myself! So while I'm waiting for feedback from them, I've been working on fulfillment for other items needed for the Kickstarter and still working on filling the Reader's Escape.
It's wonderful to feel like I'm making so much progress after so long where movement was minimal. I'm still thankful every day that I quit my job at the bank, even if I'm still wishing I had done it a couple of months earlier.
I'm still cutting all of these deadlines really close. I'm honestly worried I might have to push the launch date back a few weeks just so I have time to promote it. But I guess that depends on what I hear back from beta readers.
In the meantime, I'm spending my time working my part time job as I continue to build and prepare as much as possible!
It doesn't feel like there is really much to tell right about now, but soon there will be more than plenty!
This week has had a few days where I've been barely able to function, but luckily those were also days when I had support and things were still moving.
Every once in a while, I feel successful. It's not often tied to any kind of income. Back in the fall of 2020 I had what I then considered the most successful I had ever felt. It might still be the top, to be honest.
I was working as an elementary school librarian at the time and had just showed up to clean the books that had come in the day before (because COVID). I had been there maybe 10 minutes when my grandma called very worried because Grandpa had doctor appointments in a town 2 hours away but wasn't feeling well enough to drive. Grandma couldn't drive because she is blind.
She asked if I would be able to take them to the doctor. I said, "Absolutely." I stood up and walked out the door. I did not have to ask to use any time off or cancel any classes or explain to anyone. I just left.
This week, I had another one of those, but different.
My goal for this week was to finish one specific project for Kickstarter fulfillment. I had asked for the help of a woman I go to church with. I thought the two of us would knock it out pretty quickly. However, I was not feeling well, but everything got finished while I actually did work on something less physically involved.
So I actually made MORE progress than I thought I was going to. It's a cool feeling to have the help and support of others and to know that not everything depends on or revolves around me.
Thinking lately about success and growth and what that looks like. Obviously, I don't always think it is a monetary thing. Sure, the money is helpful, but having the ability to leave full time employment, to take care of people I love, and to have people who not only love me and take care of me, but who also believe in the projects I do.
It feels really good.
I feel more successful than I did a month ago in a bank job, making good money with great benefits.
But the biggest success of all to me is feeling like I get to follow a unique and inspired path for me. A divine purpose that means more to humanity than I do on my own. I'm not saying this like I'm unimportant, quite the opposite, it makes me feel MORE important. Which, coming from someone who always questioned her worth and if life was worth living, means a LOT.
I love feeling like I am doing something good in the world around me and that I feel so fulfilled doing it. It brings me joy, not just to write, but to feel like others need what I have to say, even if it hasn't been published yet.
But it is absolutely worth the highs and lows of publishing a book.
The more I grow into this role, the more successful I feel. Like I'm going in the right direction.
And THAT is the ultimate success in my mind.
