The Best and Worst

I am part of several Tourette Syndrome support groups on Facebook. I wanted to speak with others like me, to make sure I'm not completely off in left field with things that I'm trying to say and do for TS Awareness. I was so nervous as I got ready to publish my first book that everyone with TS would hate it and think I was crazy and I had gotten nothing right. I was terrified of backlash. While I haven't gotten any yet, I'm still a bit scared of that.

However, in joining these groups, I find myself moved to tears as I read post after post of struggles and trials. Some may be self inflicted, which is why I chose to move forward with publishing, hoping to help some one. One post I saw pop up more than once, usually by the same person was the complaint that the worst part of having TS is the people who don't have TS. This absolutely breaks my heart every time I see it.

In my case, this would be almost every single person I have ever met. In my 30 short years, I have met so many people, and three of them had TS. Two had even grown out of it and it was a thing of the past. Now I understand that all people are very different, and there have been reactions on the entire spectrum, positive to negative. I suppose I have been fairly blessed to not have run into anything TOO terrible (aside from getting kicked out of the social work program), but I know they are out there and people have to experience them.

However, at the same time, there are some wonderful people and responses. These always give me warm fuzzies and restore my faith in humanity.

For example, this past week at church, I let out a few noises (funny story on that later). After the meeting, a new gentleman in the ward stayed behind, waiting for me as the crowds began to disperse. When I got carried away chatting (like always), he jumped in, asking if I was ok. It took me a couple minutes to realize what he was talking about, then I got the opportunity to explain. He was very sweet and understanding, and actually apologized for bringing it up. He shouldn't. You know it's my favorite thing. He was just so sweet about it all though.

It touches me every time I see someone going out of their way to ask about me and their genuine concern, and to watch that turn to advocacy as they help me explain to others what is going on. It's different, I know that. It takes some time to understand. More importantly, it takes me explaining to others what is going on.

For me, people are the BEST part of having TS. I have said it before and I'll say it again. People are the BEST part! It teaches me to be more compassionate and understanding as others come to me with care and concern. It lets me feel smart explaining something they have never heard of. It helps me accept myself hearing others refer to me as "charming" and "memorable." And it's not just Paula! They say this about ME! How do I know? That might have to be a blog post in and of itself, but it's a great story. Watch for that one.

Point is, yes people can be frustrating and I can see why they can be considered the worst part. Just don't let them overshadow the good ones that provide the best moments.