What Now?

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Just over a year ago, I made a commitment to myself. I was going to be more consistent with my blog. I wanted to make sure I was putting out at least one post per week. I was so proud of the fact that I had somehow managed to do that twice over. And it's been going on for over a year! That's a lot of writing. It's a lot of funny stories, as Paula tends to be in the middle of them all.

Trouble is, what happens now? Paula hasn't done anything new and exciting in a while. Sadly, that's really the only way to keep people's attention these days, isn't it? My tics are no longer exciting without the new funny stories. People read about them, and they move on. But I can't. This is still my everyday life. I still make noises every day.

Except now I can't tell what the reactions are. People are quiet. There are no comments, no giggles. This is where things can get messy. I know a lot of other people with TS are self-conscious about it. It can be nerve-wracking for sure. I've found myself thinking, "How annoyed are they? Do they wish I'd just stop?"

In all honesty, sometimes I wish I could stop. I feel like I'm bothering others, I'm a distraction. You know what I've learned, though? Humans tend to project their thoughts into the minds of others. If I think I'm annoying, then of course they think I am, too. Why wouldn't someone else have the exact same thoughts that I do? I mean, everyone is essentially the same, right?

Except, no, we're not. We are all different. Obviously. So of course we are going to think different. In fact, chances are, they aren't even thinking about it at all.

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